


Desire

by rotg5311



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Awkward Tension, Bi-Curiosity, Confusion, F/M, First Kiss, Foster Care, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hormones, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Crush, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Wet Dream, Young Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-01-13 03:49:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18460877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotg5311/pseuds/rotg5311
Summary: Billy loves his new family. He loves his new life. He loves his new powers. And he loves his best friend. but as the years go on that best friend love turns into something more. It's confusing and wrong, but everything will be fine as long as he can keep those feelings a secret.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, if you're reading this be warned. It's explicit because that's just my fail safe for everything. There's not going to be underaged sex (Idk maybe like 17 year olds if it comes to that, but I plan on making everyone legal age before that good good happens). This story is meant to follow Billy through the years.   
> So comments are always great. I love feedback.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy

“And she had no idea what it was.” Billy said, desperately trying to ignore the way his voice cracked. If Freddy noticed it, he didn’t react. It had been weeks since Billy reunited his mom for the first time in years. Everyone had asked how that went, though they all knew the answer was ‘not good’. But Billy refused to talk about it, and no one wanted to push him. But now, sitting on a rooftop with Freddy, somehow their joking had turned to serious talk, and Billy found himself spilling everything that had been welling up inside of him. It was like a dam bursting. He couldn’t hold back.

“I’ve had it with me since the day I went missing. It was the only thing I had of her. And she just… Didn’t know. She didn’t remember.” Billy said again after a pause. He was glad that Freddy hadn’t interrupted yet. It felt good to get it all off his chest in one go. “It’s practically the only memory I have of her, and it meant nothing to her.”  
Billy recalled the sick feeling that welled up inside him at their meeting. His life had been one disappointment after another, so when his mother ended up being the biggest disappointment of all, he was too shocked to cry, though now he wanted to. He wouldn’t. It had been years since he cried in front of anyone and he wasn’t about to start now. Even if it was just Freddy.

“That compass was the only thing that meant anything to me for so long. It’s just… disappointing.” He sighed and crossed his legs. It was so dark that he doubted Freddy could see the wetness in his eyes, but that didn’t stop him from tilting his head away anyways. 

“Yeah, well.” He could practically hear the wheels turning in Freddy’s head as he struggled to find the right thing to say. Billy knew there was no right thing, no way to make it all better. It was just nice finally having someone to talk to about it. “It’s her loss. If she wanted you then we wouldn’t have you.”

“Selfish.” Billy teased. Freddy was absolutely right. The family he had now was unconventional but so much better than anything he had ever had before. It may not be ideal but that didn’t make it feel any less right.

“Billy, you’ve known me long enough to know that I’m a very selfish person.” Freddy finally looked at him, giving him the biggest shit eating grin. Of course that wasn’t true. Freddy was the least selfish person he had ever met before. He was kind in a way Billy wasn’t sure he’d ever be. But being around Freddy made him want to try and be better. It was something he worked on every day.

“Yeah you really are.” Billy lied, fiddling with a loose string on his jacket. It was so old that he was lucky he even fit into it anymore. It was a shame to see it falling apart like that. “It’s totally repulsive.”

Even in the dark he could see the way Freddy rolled his eyes. The only thing crazier to him than having a family was having a friend. A genuine friend. Billy had never really had any of those before. Kids never stayed long enough in any of his early foster homes for him to make a decent friendship happen. Then once he was old enough to start running to what he thought he wanted, friends only became a liability. They held you back or ratted you out. That’s why he hadn’t hesitated to steal one of Freddy’s most prized possessions. Billy was used to looking out for Billy. He needed money on the run, so it only made sense. And even though Freddy had every right to hate him for that, he didn’t. Freddy was so kind and forgiving and pure. Finding a friend in him was more than Billy ever could have hoped for.

“I think I get to be selfish about this.” Freddy said, standing up. He wobbled and clung to Billy’s shoulder. They had gone out on patrol and Freddy left his cane at home so he wouldn’t lose it somewhere. That was a habit he got into the very first week he’d become a Superhero. The six of them sat down and talked it over, deciding their best course of action. None of them would go out on patrol alone and they wouldn’t all go out on the same night in order to avoid suspicion from Victor and Rosa. Tonight was a Billy/Freddy night. “Shazam!”

In a flash of lighting Freddy shifted to his older alter ego, hovering in place above Billy. Before he could even stand up Freddy called out “Race you home”

And then he was gone. Billy followed suit and was eventually flying through the air after his newly found friend, their earlier conversation forgotten. Needless to say that even with the 5 second head start Freddy won. They changed back a block away from home in order to avoid waking Victor and Rosa up. With no cane, Freddy had no choice but to lean up against Billy for support. Eventually they’d have to start changing back closer or hiding a makeshift cane around here somewhere. Not that he minded helping Freddy, but he could see the way it twisted his face into a mask of embarrassment and indignity. Freddy hated having to rely on anyone because of his disability. Of course Billy wasn’t disabled, so he couldn’t truly understand, but he did his best to show his friend that it never bothered him to help out occasionally. After all they usually only did this a few nights a week. It was nothing.

They climbed the stairs as quietly as possible, avoiding the one creaky spot halfway up. A loud noise from down the hall made Billy freeze in his tracks. Waiting in silence for it to happen again, Billy realized it was just Darla having another bad dream. She had had them on and off after the attack. Of course he felt bad, but it was expected. She was so young. Even Billy had an occasional bad dream like that now and then. His heart ached at her pain, but there wasn’t much he could do. Instead he pushed Freddy forward, ushering him up the stairs and into their room before Rosa heard Darla and went to wake and comfort her.

As the bedroom door closed behind Billy he heard the faint sound of Victor and Rosa’s door open followed by soft footsteps padding down the hall. He smiled at Freddy, both silently laughing at nearly being caught. Not that Rosa would do anything more than scold them for not being asleep at such a late hour. The two boys turned their backs to each other and undressed. Freddy took much longer to get into his pajamas, so Billy climbed to the top bunk, looking up at the ceiling. Not to long later the bed shifted as Freddy crawled into the bottom bunk.

“Billy?” Freddy’s voice was a soft whisper just in case Rosa walked by and heard them talking.

“Yeah?” Billy’s reply was even softer somehow. They had started doing these kind of nightly talks more and more lately. To be honest, Billy liked it. It was special. A best friend nightly ritual.

“I’m glad you decided to stay.” Freddy continued with their earlier conversation. A warm tingly feeling spread through Billy’s chest that he couldn’t quite explain.

“Me to.” Billy told him and he meant it. A blush and a goofy smile spread across his face. It felt good to finally be home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyo all this love has been one hell of a motivator, I just work and do school so I've been trying to find the time to write too.

‘Home’, as lovely as it was, required some getting used to. Billy had come from big group homes before, but none of them had ever been as functional as this one. They took turns with chores, which Billy had turned his nose up at first. But now it felt good to help out, especially when he saw the look of pride on Victor’s face every time. They had offered him so much, the least he could do in return was clean the messes he helped make. One of the few downsides while there may be eight of them living under one roof, there was still only two bathrooms. But once they figured out a routine of who showered when, it wasn’t too bad.

Eugene’s gamer screams faded into the background. Darla’s incessant chatter was the perfect pair for Pedro’s silence. With Mary on the search for colleges near by, Billy hardly saw any of her, which wasn’t ideal. But she assured him everything would be fine once she got accepted somewhere and could work out a game plan. The soft humming of Rosa from the kitchen while she made dinner was starting to become a nightly routine and was just as expected as Victor’s nightly ‘prayer’.

And then there was Freddy. Freddy snored. He stayed up late at his desk working with stuff, always leaving the light on, forcing Billy to bury his own face under a pillow on nights that he was especially exhausted. He talked in his sleep and occasionally flailed around in the bottom bunk, making the bed frame shake around Billy too. There was always a pile of Freddy’s clothes on the floor that if Billy didn’t pick up and throw in the hamper, it would stay there indefinitely and grow larger every day. But on top of it all, Billy had never had a better roommate than Freddy. All the downsides just didn’t seem to bother him that much when Freddy was the one doing them.

“Have you seen Freddy?” Rosa asked, shaking Billy from his thoughts. He had his hands in the sink entirely soaped up from washing dishes. Tonight had been his turn for that.

“No, but I’m almost done. I can look for him in a minute?” Billy suggested. He had seen Billy at dinner, who had taken maybe three or four bites of his potatoes before scurrying off once everyone else was finished. His nearly untouched plate of food had been wrapped up and placed in the fridge. Even on Billy’s night to wash dishes Freddy would sit with him in the kitchen to talk, or sometimes even help. It was a favor Billy returned, only with a little less helping and a lot more talking. But he hadn’t seen Freddy since after dinner, which was very out of place.

Once billy had rinsed off the final plate and placed it in the drying rack he washed his hands. Sure, they had been soaking in soap for the past half hour, but that was dirty soap. He wasn’t sure if washing his hands now made a difference or not, but it made him feel clean. Then he wandered off up stairs in search of Freddy. The lump under a blanket on the bottom bunk and the cane next to the bed suggested Billy had found the right hiding place.

“Freddy?” Billy asked, moving into the room, closing the door behind him. “Rosa was looking for you.”

A grunt from under the blanket was the only response he got. Frowning, Billy stepped closer, hovering next to the bed.

“Hey, man you good?”

“No.” Freddy’s voice sounded dull and weak. He pulled back the blanket, finally facing Billy. Freddy looked awful. Pale skin and dead eyes greeted him. A thin layer of sweat covered his face, making his hair to his forehead. “I don’t feel so good.”

Billy had noticed the previous night at dinner that Freddy hadn’t been his usually chatty self. Then all of today he had been unusually quiet, though wouldn’t tell Billy what was wrong no matter how much he asked. Then tonight at dinner he had barely eaten anything. All because he had been coming down with a cold. Or was this the flu? Billy definitely didn’t want to catch that.

“You look like shit.” Billy’s smile was weak. He had meant it as a joke. The two of them had recently started a swearing streak that made them sound like sailors more often than not. But something about the way Freddy laid there curled up made his comment fall flat. “Uh, I’ll go grab Rosa.”

It was the flu. As soon as Rosa entered the room with a little trash bucket, just in case, Freddy had taken one look at it and promptly threw up inside. After that Billy had given them a little space. Vomit made him squeamish. Once she came out she told Billy he should sleep on the couch or even in the other room with the boys so he wouldn’t get sick too. Except, all Billy could think of was that Freddy would need something during the night and he’d be too weak to get it. That it would take too much time and effort to drag himself out of bed and hobble down the hall to get anything. Never mind if he needed a drink and had to go all the way down stairs. Billy was sure he’d never make it. So in the end he decided sleeping in his own bed wouldn’t be the end of the world. If he got sick too then so be it. It had been a while anyways. 

Rosa had set Freddy up with two bottles of Gatorade, a puke bucket, and a new set of pajamas. Though Freddy could have changed into those himself after dinner. Billy wasn’t entirely sure. Stripping into his own pajamas, Billy felt eyes on his body that made his face burn. Sure, they’d seen each other in nearly nothing occasionally before and it had never been an issue. But now Billy was almost fifteen and things were starting to change. He was getting hair in places that he never had before, and from the things he read online, he knew that was only the beginning of it. Freddy looking at him now felt strange, but Billy couldn’t exactly tell why.

“You’re going to get sick, too.” Freddy stared at him from his fetal position on the bed, clutching a bottle of Gatorade to his chest like a safety blanket.

“I’ll be fine.” Billy shrugged the comment off. Maybe it would be true if he thought it hard enough?

Freddy was asleep within ten minutes if the soft snores had anything to say about it. Billy was still wide awake a couple hours later when he heard soft little mumbles from the bunk below him. Sometimes Billy just listened in to what Freddy was saying until he dozed off. But now even in his sleep Freddy sounded like he was in pain. Half an hour later he heard the mumbles stop followed seconds later by the sound of vomit splashing into the bucket.

“Hey, you need anything?” Billy asked, leaning to the edge of the bed, waiting for a response.

“You’re still up? It’s like midnight.” Billy knew it was a lot later than that, but he didn’t say anything. Then, Freddy was talking again, sounding a little sheepish. “I finished my drink but I don’t know where the other one went.”

Within seconds Billy was climbing down, planting his bare feet on the cool wooden floor. There was just enough moonlight shining through the window for him to see that the bottle of Gatorade wasn’t next to the bed.

“Is it in bed with you?” He asked, not seeing how it could be anywhere else. He’d already done a quick sweep of the room twice to be sure.

“Dunno.” Freddy already had his eyes closed again, face twisted in pain.

“Do you need medicine or something?” Billy wasn’t sure how to take care of someone who was sick. He could always go wake Rosa or Victor. They would know exactly how to make Freddy feel better.

“Rosa said she’d give me more in the morning.”

Billy nodded, knowing full well Freddy couldn’t see him. There was such a huge pile of blankets around Freddy that he wasn’t sure how he could stand it. Still, no Gatorade bottle though. It felt wrong to start feeling around around Freddy’s limp body. It felt even more weird when his eyes shot open and stared up at Billy in the dark. In the end Billy found the bottle at the bottom corner of the bed, tucked up against the wall and under the blanket. He wasn’t sure how it got there, though it must’ve been due to Freddy’s spastic movements.

He opened the bottle before screwing the cap back on loose enough that Freddy could open it whenever he wanted on his own. Billy watched Freddy take one tiny little sip before curling back up around the bottle once more. The only thing he could think of as he climbed back into his own bed was how awful it made him feel to see his best friend like that.


	3. Chapter 3

The next time Billy had to see Freddy in pure pain was some time after both their birthdays had passed. Victor had picked Billy up early from school to take him to a Doctor’s appointment, letting him skip the rest of the day as a reward for not ditching school on his own. When Freddy had finally stumbled through the door, Billy had his phone out, ready to call him and see what was taking so long. A big black eye and still bleeding nose greeted him.

“The hell happened to you?” Billy had a strong, compelling urge to grab Freddy’s face in his hands just to get a good look, because Freddy kept putting his head down to hide it from view.

“Turns out Brett and Burke got to talking and decided that the Red Cyclone just came to school as a-” Freddy stuttered as he stumbled up the steps. Billy might’ve been pulling him a little aggressively toward the bathroom. He wanted to get Freddy fixed and cleaned up, but they had also come to an agreement not to let Rosa or Victor see this kind of stuff a while ago. “Well I’m pretty sure they thought it was a Make-a-Wish kind of thing.”

“You’re not dying.” Billy shot him an incredulous look as he closed the bathroom door behind them.

“We already agreed they barely have half a brain between them.” Freddy smiled, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet seat. He brushed off his bag and coat, putting them in a pile on the floor with his cane on top.

Before Billy came along, the Breyer Brothers had been mercilessly pummeling Freddy almost on a daily basis. Once Billy had stood up for Freddy, the bullying had nearly come to an end. Then when he showed up as a Superhero, along with Superman which hadn’t been an easy feat in itself, but it was worth it for Freddy. The bullying had stopped immediately afterward. Suddenly Freddy had become a lot more popular with everyone, even the girls. The worst part of all this was that they had waited for a day Billy wasn’t around to prey on Freddy. That was a cowardly thing to do. If only he had been there to stop it.

“So why didn’t you…” Billy was going to ask why Freddy didn’t just Shazam away, or better yet, use it to fight them. But he knew the answer to that. Freddy couldn’t give away his identity for the same reason Billy couldn’t. They had all almost died when that glowy-eyed freak found out who Billy really was. “Yeah well I’m going to kick their asses.”

Freddy just smiled, knowing Billy wasn’t joking. It’d be nice for both of them to watch Brett and Burke get kicked down a notch. Billy had handed over a wad of tissues to stop the blood flow pouring from Freddy’s nose. It didn’t look broken, but what did Billy know? He wasn’t a doctor. The eye would need ice, but it could wait a minute.

“I can help you to the room, then I’ll grab some ice for your eye.” Billy told him, reaching to move his bag first. Freddy was looking at him strangely. Almost like he was embarrassed. “What?”

“Can you get a couple ice packs?” His voice was almost a whisper. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Billy let his eyes rake over Freddy as if he missed something. “It’s, um. My ribs.”

Billy saw red. He hadn’t even realized the way Freddy was hunched over in pain. “They’re dead. I’m going to kill them.”

“Come on, Billy, I’m fine.” The eye roll in his direction did little to make him feel better. Never in his life had he been angry enough to feel lightheaded. “It’s not like I’m dead or anything.”

“Yeah, you’re not. But they are.” The burst of laughter that escaped Freddy’s split lips was enough to ground Billy back to reality. Of course he couldn’t kill them. Sure he wanted to. But there were other ways to make them suffer. Apparently going after their truck hadn’t been enough.

“Man, don’t make me laugh. It hurts.” Freddy told him, still smiling. That’s when Billy noticed his lip had started to bleed again. There was no way they could hide any of this from Rosa and Victor. Might as well get them to make sure none of Freddy’s ribs were broken.

Later that night Billy had gone up to their bedroom to check on Freddy. Victor said nothing seemed broken and Freddy refused to see a Doctor. No one was happy about that. Rosa was on the phone scheduling a meeting with the Principal, though Billy knew that wouldn’t do her any good. Not that it mattered. He was going to get back at them on Monday. If they wanted to act like cowards, Billy would make sure everyone knew just how cowardly they were.

A soft crying sound sounded off from behind his bedroom door. Slowly opening the door he saw Darla standing there, a trickle of tears streaming down her face. She had her hands tightly clutched to her sides, looking mortified. Freddy sat at the desk, shirtless, obviously trying to hide the look of pain on his face.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Freddy said. “You didn’t even hurt me. Come on, give me another hug. I promise, I’m fine.”

Darla looked at him for a few seconds before gently wrapping her arms around him again and sprinting for the door. The two of them only noticed Billy when Darla almost ran into him. She wiped the tears off her face furiously before pushing her way past him and sprinting to her bedroom.

“What was that?” Billy asked, still staring down the hall.

“Just Darla trying to finally break me.” Freddy laughed, smiling back at Billy. By now his split lip had started to swell. It wasn’t too puffy though, so maybe the ice had helped. “She gave me a hug.”

Freddy gestured to his naked torso, showing it off for the first time that day to Billy. Deep purple bruises splattered their way across Freddy’s rib cage, making Billy squirm. It looked painful. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go see a Doctor?”

Freddy brushed the comment off once more. Maybe Billy couldn’t slaughter Brett and Burke, but he was sure as hell going to break something.

“You know, I would have thought being a superhero would make me immune to this kind of stuff.” Freddy told him, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I can fly and shoot lighting out of my fingers, but I still get the flu. I still get my ass kicked. I still need this.”

He grabbed his cane looking at it disdainfully. Billy knew that still needing his cane when he wasn’t in Hero form had come as a slap in the face to Freddy. Everyone had stared in awe at the six new hero's that had appeared out of nowhere and everyone still stared with sympathy at Freddy, assuming they even looked at him at all.

“You have superhuman strength to rival Superman and you’re worried about a little cold?” The only thing Billy could think to do was make light of everything. He knew he couldn’t make Freddy feel better about his disability, but he could talk him up about everything else.

“A little cold!” Freddy wadded up a paper and threw it at Billy’s face. It was something he could’ve easily avoided, but he let the ball thump against his cheek instead. A little ‘cold’ that almost sent Freddy to the emergency room. It had been one of the worst weeks in Billy’s life. It had taken months for Freddy to gain back all the weight he had lost. Not that he had that much to begin with. At least now Freddy was beginning to fill out. Not that Billy had noticed on purpose or anything. It was something he picked up on in an attempt to see if Freddy was going through Puberty, too.

“Yeah don’t be such a baby about it, Freeman.” This time Billy dodge the pencil flying toward his chest, letting out a tiny shriek before giggling.

“Bold words coming from someone who screamed about a spider in the bathroom.” Freddy shot back at him. It had happened about two weeks earlier and no one let him live it down since. 

“It was big. I was naked.” Billy said in his usual argument, face flushing with embarrassment. The only thing worse than what had happened was that no one could find the spider afterwards.

“Billy Batson stars in Naked and Afraid.” Freddy was laughing once again, clutching at the splotches on his ribs. Apparently he thought it was funny enough to not care about the pain.

“Laugh it up. I hope it hurts.” Billy flipped him the middle finger and flashed him a smile before walking out of the room and back down stairs. He sat on the couch watching Eugene scream into his headset. The phone he received as a birthday present from Rosa and Victor buzzed in his pocket.

A Snapchat from Freddy. Rolling his eyes he opened it, prepared for something as equally stupid as the rest of the things Freddy sent. A stick figure with a cut out of a picture of Billy’s face stood to one side of the room with a little screaming thought bubble. On the other side of the screen was a poorly drawn spider. The caption at the bottom read ‘Billy Batson: Naked and Afraid.’ Laughing, he screenshotted it. In reply, Billy colored in a picture purple, writing ‘Look It u’ and sent it back to Freddy. He was glad he finally found someone to be his true goofy self with, even if it was at his own expense occasionally. He didn’t mind as long as it made Freddy laugh, too.


	4. Chapter 4

Billy frowned at his phone. He had been waiting for Freddy for ten minutes, only to just now get a text saying he was hanging out with the girl in his class. Again. It didn’t bother him really. They had a project they were working on together and instead of dragging her to the bustling Vasquez house, she had opted for them working at her place. She was an only child, it would be ‘conductive for school work’. Or at least that’s what Freddy had told Rosa when asking permission. She said it was fine as long as the girls parents were home. That made Freddy blush a light shade of red, only deepening once Victor called him out on it.

“Make sure you take a shower for your girlfriend.” Victor called up the stairs after Freddy. Rosa slapped him lightly on the arm for teasing Freddy. Billy wrinkled his nose at the thought. It was a girl he had seen around. Blonde hair halfway down her back, blue eyes, and a little lisp that she was going to counseling to try and fix. Sharon. Shelly? Sarah…. Billy was sure it was an S name. Freddy had gushed on and on about her, which made Billy feel like a shit friend for not remembering her name. What he did remember vividly was that their project was due today during second period. Now school was over and Freddy was still hanging out with her.

A little bitter feeling spread through his body like wildfire. He knew Freddy had a thing for this Sally girl, but he had been blowing Billy off for days. He couldn’t help but feel jealous. If Billy had a girlfriend he wouldn’t ditch Freddy. In fact, a week before, Jessie, the most popular girl in their grade had been talking to Billy. He was no expert but he was sure she had been flirting with him. She even tried making plans for Friday until Billy said he was going to the movies with Freddy. It was something they had been planning for a month at least, there was no way he could cancel now. Then Jessie had called Freddy weird with a disgusted look that marred her beautiful face. Billy walked away after that and hadn’t talked to her since.

Their situations weren’t exactly the same, but Billy couldn’t help but feel hurt. He spent the entire night out fighting crime as a distraction. Except the only crime he managed to find was a mugger and someone attempting a very bad burglary. Boring nights like this had always been fun anyways when Freddy was there to goof off with. Instead Billy was left wandering the streets alone, eventually giving up to find a nice rooftop where no one would bother him. By the time he snuck back into the house Freddy was already fast asleep.

The next three days were almost the same, with Billy in more progressive states of agitation. By the time Friday rolled around Billy hadn’t even waited for Freddy. He knew the drill so why bother wasting his time? Not feeling like doing any vigilante justice, he just laid in bed instead. He had the choice of doing homework or playing on his phone. That choice was easy. Billy nearly dropped the phone on his face when Freddy walked through the door, throwing his stuff in a heap on the ground.

“You’re home early.” Was the first thing he thought to say. It slipped out so fast that there was no time to filter out the bitterness from it. Hopefully Freddy didn’t notice.

“And you’re home.” Freddy shot back, quirking an eyebrow. Touche. Billy couldn’t make an argument to that one.

“So what happened, she kick you out? Victor told you to shower, you should've listened.” An obvious joke that normally would’ve made Freddy laugh or at least protest. Instead he made his way to the other side of the room, sitting at his desk. They sat like that more often than not to talk, since it could get awkward trying to have a conversation with someone directly below you. Freddy’s leg twitched, bouncing up and down. It was a nervous tick Billy had noticed soon after moving in. Billy sat up, scooching to the edge of the bed to make it clear he was ready to talk. “Freddy, what happened?”

“You can’t tell anyone.” Freddy replied after a solid minute of looking completely unsure with himself. He was picking at the hem of his shirt, looking dazed.

“Ok. Promise.” He could feel the nervousness creep over him. Any anger he had been feeling toward Freddy faded. He had never seen his best friend act like this. It put him on edge.

“So, we were sitting there, working on math.” Billy tried not to roll his eyes. Freddy was all about doing homework and passing classes. His insistent hounding was the only reason Billy ever go this work done. So of course he was out with a girl doing homework. “And Sandy’s mom wasn’t home like usual.”

Billy froze. He didn’t like the look on Freddy’s face. He didn’t like where this story was going either. There was a hint of pride at being right about the S name that got washed away once Freddy kept talking,

“Well that’s when she said she didn’t really need help with her homework, which is why I’ve been going over there. And she kissed me.”

Freddy brushed his curls out his face, his leg bounced wildly up and down. His face was bright red and he refused to make eye contact. Billy wasn’t sure how to feel about that one.

“Was it bad?” Billy asked after a minute. It was the only thing he could think of that would make Freddy act like that.

“No.”

“So you’re panicking because?” Billy laughed as realization dawned on him. “This was your first kiss?”

“Yeah. Like I said, disabled foster kid. The ladies aren’t exactly lining up.” Freddy went back to picking at his clothes, looking anywhere but at Billy. That was something Billy didn’t really understand. Freddy was great. He was funny, smart, kind. So he had a messed up spine and foot. It had been something Billy worried over at first, but after spending so much time with Freddy, he realized it was something that made his friend unique. Those were thoughts that Billy couldn’t convey without things getting a little weird. So he deflected.

“Well clearly they are. How was it? What did you do?” 

Billy’s first kiss had been when he was eleven. There was a girl in his group home that made it her mission to kiss every boy that walked through the door. Billy had been utterly starstruck. That had been one of the awakenings into the movement from ‘girls have cooties’ to ‘wow, girls’. Then there had been a girl on the subway when he ran away at thirteen. She had initiated it after they talked for a few minutes, completely out of the blue, not that Billy would complain about it. But then a woman from the other side of the train station called out the girls name in an angry voice and she stood up and told him to run, while she took off in the other direction. That was the last time Billy saw her, but he was shaken for the next few days wondering what all that had been about. Now he was fifteen, single, and starting to get looks from girls all over school.

“I, um, ran.”

“You what?” Billy was floored.

“She kissed me, I panicked, and then I left.” Freddy looked so vulnerable that Billy knew he couldn’t hold it over his head. Besides, talking about it made Billy think about it. And the thought of Freddy kissing that girl gave Billy a little queasy feeling in his stomach that he didn’t quite understand. They both seemed a little easier once he pulled out his homework and asked Freddy for help on a question he already knew how to work out himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Billy was a bad friend. One of the worst. That thought churned in his head up until lunch when he saw Freddy again. This morning Freddy was mad, and he had every right to be. After Billy had nearly knocked him over trying to sprint by him and into the bathroom, he spent more than his allotted morning bathroom time tucked away panicking, leaving Freddy to wait outside the door for his turn. Only, Billy had spent so much time in the bathroom that Freddy didn’t get to brush his teeth or comb his hair. Because of that he had been grumbly and bitter towards Billy all morning.

All Billy could do was apologize. It’s not like he even had a good excuse either. He couldn't tell the truth and he couldn’t think of a good enough lie that made sense. There was a very sticky pair of underwear hiding under his bed sheet that painted a vivid white picture of what Billy was too ashamed to admit. It was the first wet dream he ever had and it was more shocking than anything else. One minute he had been at that lovely strip club getting the best lap dance in the world from a busty brunette. Then he was face down in the mattress rutting his hips into the newly wet mess. An amazing dream with devastating effects. It had all gone downhill from there. Almost knocking over Freddy, not giving him any time to get ready, and to make it all worse, those had been his favorite pair of underwear and now they were ruined. He couldn’t throw them away, he couldn’t put them in the laundry for Rosa to find. Billy didn’t know what to do.

Freddy plopped his tray down in the seat next to him. As usual their table was empty. Occasionally people would sit with them, since knowing a Super Hero made you cool from time to time, but more often than not it was just the two of them alone. At least Freddy wasn’t giving him stank eye anymore. It was a start.

“You know, I was going to talk to Alice today.” Freddy said after a moment of silence, looking across the cafeteria for the girl in question, unable to find her. For weeks all Freddy had talked about was Alice. Her hair, her smile, her laugh, her tits. Alice Alice Alice. Billy finally had enough and pressured Freddy to just say hi to the girl. Ask her out. Then Billy had to go and ruin that for Freddy too. He was such a bad friend, it was eating away at him.

“Yeah, my bad.” Billy didn’t look up. His pile of corn was much more interesting at the moment than having to see Freddy’s unruly mop of curls as a reminder.

“Geez. Lighten up, it’s not like I died. Just my manhood, that’s all.” Freddy punched his shoulder lightly, finally getting Billy to crack a smile. And with that they were good. They didn’t fight often and it never took much for them to apologize in their own ways. As long as Freddy wasn’t mad, that eliminated half his problems.

“See, you have to have manhood first in order for it to die.” Billy said, easily dodging the next flying fist that came his way. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Brett and Burke wander into the cafeteria, going the long way around to avoid Billy’s table. Ever since ‘the Red Cyclone’ had scared, hurt, and threatened them in front of the entire football team as well as the cheer-leading squad they hadn’t even said a word to Freddy, much less dare to hurt him again. Was it Billy’s fault Brett ended up with a broken arm? Maybe a little, though he shouldn’t have fought back so hard. All the flailing lead to a sickening snap that did nothing to deter Billy from his goal. Was it Billy’s fault Burke got a black eye and broken nose? No. He did that himself by running off and leaving his brother behind, only to trip and fall in front of half the school. That pavement did more to damage his ego than Billy ever could.

Next to strut by their table was Alice. Flanked by two less pretty girls, she walked like she owned the school. She wasn’t even close to being the most popular girl there, but you’d never know it just by looking at her. He wanted to wish Freddy luck when he finally did get a chance to shoot his shot, but he didn’t want to risk freaking him out.  
Freddy’s head snapped in her direction as soon as his eyes landed on her. It was a futile attempt to fix his hair, but he tried his hardest. Finally he turned to Billy looking mortified. “How does it look? Can you fix it? Oh God, don’t let her see me like this.”

Billy tried his best at flattening the hair too. It was no use. Freddy shaved it, and hated it. Now it was at such an awkward stage of growing back that there was nothing Billy could do. That didn’t stop him from spending a little extra time trying. The hair was soft, and trying to help him was the least Billy could do for ruining Freddy’s morning.  
“Well stop staring at her or she’s going to look this way!” Billy felt anxious at the panic in Freddy’s eyes. It was a contagious mood.

“But she’s so cute.” It came out as a crackly whine. Lately Freddy’s voice had been changing. Sure it cracked more often than not, but at least he was getting a man’s voice. Billy hadn’t yet. It was embarrassing to be one of the last kids his age to still sound unfazed by puberty. If he still sounded like that at sixteen he would just drop out of school and spend the rest of his life in his adult alter ego form.

“Yeah too cute to talk to with morning breath.” Billy pointed out. Freddy was great, but trying to talk to that girl now would be social suicide. There was a grumble of ‘not my fault’ directed towards Billy before the smaller boy flopped his head down into his arms. They only had a few more hours, he was sure his friend could push through that.  
Later that night Billy paced his room back and forth. He had two options: trash the underwear or wash them. It was a stupid pair, a gag gift from Freddy. Bright yellow with batman symbols all over. But they were smooth and soft and had quickly become Billy’s favorite. The last thing he wanted to do was throw them away. Which left washing them. He would rather die than put them in the laundry for Rosa to find. Seeing no other option, Billy headed downstairs in search of Victor. It was the last conversation in the world that he wanted to have, but there was no other option.

“Hey Billy, how was school?” Victor asked, placing a bookmark in his book in order to give Billy his full attention.

“Uh, good. I passed that test by the way.” Billy scraped by with a low B, but as long as they got at least C’s Victor and Rosa stayed happy. Once they finally got Billy to stop skipping school, they sat him down and had a talk every time he didn’t pass something. According to them bad grades weren’t a sign that Billy was dumb, but rather that he had a problem. Since day one they made it abundantly clear that they were there to help no matter what. It was the first time anyone had cared enough to sit him down for a talk like that. That had been the reason he tried harder now.

“That’s wonderful, Billy. I’m so proud.”

“Uh, thanks.” Billy squirmed at the compliment. Compliments had been plentiful in the Vasquez household. It was something that he still hadn’t become accustomed to. And on top of it now he had to have an awkward conversation that he had no idea how to even start. “Actually… I had a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Can you show me how to work the washer and dryer?” Billy asked, trying his best not to fidget in place. Victor looked confused for a second before he broke out in a knowing smile. Oh no. “I just hate seeing you guys do the laundry all the time when I’m the one wearing the clothes.”

Victor knew he was lying. Billy knew that Victor knew. Thankfully nothing was said as they walked to the laundry room. Well that’s what it was called. In truth it was a closet just big enough to fit a washer and dryer in. Billy stood there taking in as much information as he could. Detergent, fabric softener, separating colors. Then for added dramatic affect Victor made it very clear that Underwear should always be washed on the ‘delicate’ setting. Billy’s face burned, but he thanked Victor and scurried off to his room.

Between him and Freddy there were more than enough clothes to wash in the hamper. Tucking his underwear safely in the middle of the pile, Billy hurried down to the washer and threw it all in. Ignoring the questioning look from Mary, Billy prayed to whatever was out there that this would work and that it would never happen again.


	6. Chapter 6

It turned out Billy stopped having wet dreams as long as he touched himself frequently. It had been awkward at first, living in a house with so many people. But he always managed to find the time. Until Summer came. He was around his Family almost constantly. The only free time he had was in the shower and when he went to bed. But even with Freddy snoring peacefully in the bunk below, a sure sign he was oblivious to the waking world, Billy couldn’t bring himself to do it. So he was pent up beyond belief when Rosa and Victor took them on the trip.

They had all been looking forward to it all Summer. Rosa had an old friend from one of her Foster homes growing up. Somewhere down the line they had been sent their separate ways, but they always managed to stay in contact. It had been years since they got together, and they decided to go see her, since last time she had come to Philly to see Rosa. It was a chance for them all to see some new things. Billy had never been to Boston. He was excited. Or at least he had been until he was packed into the van like a sardine for a few hours.

It should’ve been a five and a half hour drive. But with the amount of drinks Darla, Eugene, Freddy, and even Victor consumed, they had to keep making pit stops. Billy was cramped. He was bored. His phone battery was running on low. When Freddy climbed back into the car, Billy didn’t even bother to move his leg back to his own side. He needed to stretch. Freddy didn’t seem to care that they were thigh to thigh now.

“Dude I’m dying.” Billy finally said, eyeing Freddy out of the corner of his eye.

“Then do it quietly. I’m reading.” Freddy didn’t even take his nose out of the comic book as he said it.

Billy sighed loudly. He was bored. His phone was almost dead, so it’s not like he could use it. The only person next to him was Freddy. Everyone was in front of him, doing the various things they packed. Billy made it all of two minutes before he nudged Freddy. Already being thigh to thigh it was nothing at first. Just a small sway of his body that Freddy ignored. So Billy did it again. And again. And Again. The fourth time he pushed into Freddy’s body, the boy finally looked over at him obviously agitated.  
“What?” His voice was quiet, but it was still snappy nonetheless.

“I told you. I’m bored.” Billy pouted. It wasn’t something he did often, because it always made Freddy cave, and he didn’t want to have that kind of unfair advantage. But now he couldn’t help it. If something didn’t happen soon he was going to Shazam his way out of that van and to the nearest arcade.

“And I told you I don’t care.” Freddy rolled his eyes but he was already digging through the backpack he had next to him. He pulled out 5 different comics, handing them to Billy. Batman, Superman, Aqua-man, Wonder Wonder Woman, and the Flash.

“I was hoping for something fun.” Billy made a face down at the comics. Then all at once the stack of five came slapping down against his leg. “Don’t hit me. I’m not wrong.”

“You are too. There’s nothing wrong with these comics.” Billy felt wrong for doing it, but he had seen the fire in Freddy’s eyes. He was in for a very interesting argument that would most likely end with Freddy putting Billy in his place. Those were Billy’s favorite arguments. Where Freddy’s eyes lit up and his hands moved on their own, emphasizing words. His voice would slowly rise the more Billy fought back, never reaching a yelling pitch. Thirty minutes later Freddy and Billy had their body’s facing each other as much as they could in the confined space. “So pick up a book and give it a try!”

The last portion of his friend’s rant had left Freddy breathless as if he said it all in one go. Billy picked up the Aqua man book, flipping through it quickly before he started to read it. Comics and Heroes were Freddy’s thing. It was one of the things he loved about Freddy. Billy would sit and listen to him talk all day about Superheroes, but did that mean he actually wanted to read the stories for himself? Not really. But there was that spark in Freddy’s eyes at the prospect of Billy finally reading something he was interested in and he just couldn’t seem to say no.

About two pages in he started with the nudging once more. He was reading and enjoying it. But there was still an urge to harass Freddy that coursed through his veins. Nudge. Nudge. Nudge. Billy jumped at the hand that wrapped around his thigh. Freddy had a firm grip on Billy, holding his leg still and at a distance. Neither of them said anything, but suddenly all Billy could think of was that delicate hand on his knee.

It must have been a mix from being so pent up paired with the fact that no one had touched Billy there before. But he could feel his body light on fire. A deep sense of dread washed through him as he realized what was happening. He let the comic book drape lower on his lap, hiding his growing situation. Freddy didn’t notice, and it felt like an eternity before he released his hand. Billy made sure to stay on his side of the car for the rest of the ride.

By the time they made it to Boston it was dark. Mostly because they spent over an hour trying to actually get into Boston. The traffic was disgusting and they sat still more often than they moved. Billy didn’t dare bother Freddy again no matter how bored he got. The hotel was nice but not extravagant. But considering Billy had no frame of reference, he thought it was amazing. Four rooms had been booked, and once Rosa had given Billy and Freddy their key, they sprinted off to find their room. Or at least as fast as Freddy could sprint.

Two beds, a giant set of sliding doors leading to a balcony, a small bathroom, and the biggest TV Billy had ever seen laid in the room. It was heaven. The first thing he did was body slam onto the bed while simultaneously looking for the remote. Yet as relaxed as he should’ve been, Billy was still tense from the car ride there. Sneaking off under the pretense of needing a shower, he slipped into the bathroom, stripping himself immediately. And if he spent a little extra time under the warm water relieving himself of all that pent up stress, no one needed to know. Billy didn’t even give it a second thought as his usual mental busty brunette jerk-material shifted into a slimmer woman with a full set of dark, curly hair. He slept better that night than he had all Summer.


	7. Chapter 7

His favorite part about Boston was the Aquarium. It was Darla’s favorite too. The rest of the family would stay with Freddy, who moved slower through the mass crowd of people, while Billy and Darla held hands and sprinted forward. They’d go from exhibit to exhibit, Darla practically pressing her nose against the glass to absorb the wonders inside. Once they got out of sight from the rest of the group they would circle around to find them, walk with them for a while, and then speed off once again.

Billy listened to Darla’s excited squeal at the Penguins. She loved everything there, including the Anaconda’s that made Billy’s stomach drop, but she just couldn’t stop talking about the penguins. They were ‘so cute’ and she had asked Victor no less than three times if they could take one home, each time hinting more and more at stealing one. Billy’s favorite was the octopuses. Octopi? He didn’t really remember the correct term, but either way he thought they were the best thing there. It was where he spent most of his time, just staring into the tank in amazement. Darla wasn’t happy about that and dragged him on to the next exhibit when she got frustrated enough.

The touch tank had been cool, but a little gross. He didn’t like the way they felt. Slimy and cold. But Freddy was having the time of his life, spewing facts about sharks and how their skin can cut you if you rub it the wrong way. Freddy’s eyes always lit up when he was talking about random facts he had acquired through the years. He watched as several younger kids tuned into Freddy’s words, each becoming more interested as the list of facts grew. Billy was more interested in watching the interaction than actually listening to the words. If only people paid attention to Freddy like this at school. He wished more people could see Freddy the way he did. 

“Billy, come on, we have to get to the top.” Darla said, finding Billy’s hand and tugging him. With one small nod in Rosa’s direction to alert her that they were leaving the two of them were off again, hurrying their way up the spiral. They eventually did make it there, after Billy spent a long while looking at the cuttlefish that he was starting to enjoy as much as the octopus. It took another twenty or so minutes for the rest of the gang to make it up there.

A big open top tank waited for them for everyone to look down into. By then they had started another ‘show’, which consisted of a worker telling facts about the marine life at the aquarium and then answering questions. Billy had squeezed into the crowd, leaving a space for Darla on one side and Freddy one the other.

“Too bad we can’t talk to fish. Imagine what we could make them do.” Freddy whispered, making sure no one else heard.

“So, you have the ability to fly but you’re upset that you can’t talk to that turtle?” Billy laughed. Of course Freddy had been thinking of ways they could wreak havoc. Being in a building full of Marine animals could have been a lot more interesting if they could control them. “Can’t have it all.”

“What? Of course I can. I’m a disabled foster child. I DO have it all.”

It made Billy roll his eyes. He knew Freddy had a habit of making jokes about his disability. Whether it was to desensitize people into being comfortable with it or just a way for Freddy to normalize it for himself, he wasn’t sure. But that comment left him feeling bad. Billy did have it all. Or at least, all he wanted. All he needed. He had a family, he had friends, he had his powers, and he had Freddy. A few years ago all Billy had wanted was his Mom. But now he had something even better. He had people who cared about him. What more could he ask for?

But he knew Freddy had different wishes. Billy wanted a family and he had gotten it. Freddy wanted to be able-bodied. That was harder to fix. The only time he was ‘normal’ was in his Shazam form, which is why the two of them spent so much time like that. Even now, it had only been four days since they last went out and Billy could see it affecting Freddy. Billy would find a way to sneak out tonight. They already had a balcony for ease. All he had to do was make sure no one came to check on them.

When they were done, Rosa and Victor went to meet up with Rosa’s friend. She had things to show Rosa that weren’t ‘interesting’ enough for a bunch of kids to tag along, which lead to Freddy and Billy wandering the streets of Boston on their own. Even with Freddy’s slow moving pace and frequent need to sit, the two of them still made great progress. Billy was having the time of his life. All the shops, the bustling people, landmarks. He wanted to see it all, and Freddy did his best to keep up.

“Chairs.” Freddy said, nudging Billy’s arm to get his attention. It was almost dark out and they had been out all day. He could practically see the energy draining from Freddy. It was time to head back to the hotel. Maybe they could bang out a quick nap before tonight.

“Yeah let’s sit. I’m beat. We should probably head back soon.” Billy lied. Of course he wasn’t tired. But he knew Freddy didn’t have the same stamina as him. Plus they had done so much walking today. Freddy was probably in a lot of pain, even if he would never admit it.

Freddy said nothing, but Billy noticed the relieved look that flashed across the not-so-smaller boys face. It agitated Billy that Freddy was almost the same height as him now. He was ready for his growth spurt, so where was it? Billy flopped onto the bench a little more aggressive than necessary. Their hotel wasn’t that far away. Freddy could make it there fine once he rested a little bit.

“Woah.” Freddy breathed out so quietly that Billy almost missed it. Turning his head in the direction of Freddy’s, he saw a group of kids the same age as them walking their way. Two girls and a boy chatting loudly and laughing. The boy’s jacket was what drew Billy’s attention first. Such a bright shade of green, he might as well been wearing a neon sign. The girls had bright colors, too. He couldn’t figure out why they’d wear clothes that drew so much attention. Girl one had fiery red hair that fell in long curls over her shoulders with a bubblegum pink shirt. Girl two was dressed similar, except with a duller shade of green that the boy had been wearing. It clashed with her bright blue pants in such an awful way that it made Billy’s head spin. Sure, he only wore a variation of like five outfits, but even he knew her fashion style was bad. Was that a trend he missed, or was she trying to start something new?

“Which one were you looking at?” Billy asked Freddy once the group had passed.

“What?” Freddy snapped his head back toward Billy, pulling his eyes off the girls.

“What do you mean what? Everyone on the block saw you drooling over them. So who was it?” Billy wasn’t sure why he cared so much. Neither of the girls had been particularly attractive. But he knew other people had different tastes. He was curious about what Freddy liked. The boy had never dated anyone since Billy knew him. Maybe if he knew his type he could help Freddy get a girlfriend?

“Uh. The one in green.” Freddy’s face was bright red.

“Wow. She was alright, I guess. Want me to go give her your number? I’ll be like two seconds, then we can go back to the hotel, I promise.”

“No!” Freddy had turned a deeper shade of red that Billy never thought possible. His leg was bouncing again in discomfort. “Not h- Uh. It’s nothing. Just don’t do that.”

It was strange behavior even for Freddy, but Billy didn’t question it. Instead he trudged along behind his friend who had headed back to the hotel, seeming more jittery than he had in a while. No matter how much Billy tried initiation a conversation, Freddy seemed distracted and only gave one word answers. He was even unusually quiet through dinner, catching the attention of Rosa, who pulled Billy aside afterwards to ask what was wrong. He was usually the go to guy with that sort of thing. They were so close that Billy always knew what was wrong. Except this time Billy had no idea what had Freddy so distracted. Hopefully it was nothing a little night time adventure couldn’t fix.


	8. Chapter 8

It took Billy a good five minutes to shake Freddy awake. He felt bad for doing it, but he was sure Freddy wouldn’t mind when he found out what they were about to do. A wild mop of bed head curls and a sneer greeted him once Freddy slowly woke up. With a grumble Freddy tried nudging Billy’s hand on his shoulder away.

“Freddy wake up. I want to go out.” Billy said once he was sure Freddy was conscious enough to hear.

“What?”

“I want to go out. You know, out out. There’s so many tall buildings, come on it’ll be fun.” Billy had resorted to tugging on Freddy’s arm at this point.

“What time is it?”Freddy grumbled, finally sitting up. He rubbed his eyes, looking out the window to see a dark night sky greeting him.

“Two. Plenty time to see a little of Boston from above and get back before breakfast. No one will even know we’re gone.”

Freddy was waking up faster by then. Billy backed up so Freddy could crawl out of bed. After a quick pee, they were out on the balcony looking down.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t want anyone waking up to see we’re gone. We could just go out the front door.” Freddy leaned against the guard rail for support, since his cane was still resting against the bedside table. 

“Oh wow I didn’t realize you were a chicken. My bad. Yeah lets go that-” Billy’s words were cut off when he saw Freddy hurl himself over the edge in the most ungraceful way.

“Shazam!” A flash of lightning so bright it made Billy look away flashed in the darkness. Billy followed soon after.

Freddy’s favorite thing to do was race. It was the only time he ever had a chance of winning a race and he loved taking advantage of it. Billy wasn't sure who was actually faster, but he found himself holding back more often than not, just to see the pure glee on Freddy’s face at winning.

They saw more up here than they ever would on the ground. Plus they could go faster. Somehow Freddy spotted a comic shop from such a ridiculous distance that it made Billy wonder if Freddy had somehow gotten super sight or if he was just that much of a nerd. He made a note of where it was so they could go in the morning. After a few laps around the city, they ended up at the aquarium again.

“All I’m saying is she wouldn’t shut up about them all day.” Billy said, hovering next to Freddy outside the aquarium. “Would they really miss one penguin? There’s a ton there.”

Freddy shook his head and flew away. He ended up at a little area that had been so close to the aquarium that Billy wasn’t sure how they’d missed it early. It was clearly used to shoot water like a fountain during the day, though now it was off for the night. A ring of posts sat in a circle a few feet away from the steps of the circular structure. Atop each post was a giant animal head. What a dog, a dragon, and a pig had in common, Billy had no idea.

“Shazam.” Freddy said, turning back to his regular self. He wobbled for a few seconds before straightening out. Billy followed suit. It was a habit they had picked up somewhere along the way, always switching together, even though there wasn’t really a good reason for it. “This is so cool.”

“A ring of animal heads staked to the ground? I don’t know. Seems a little… Satanic to me.” Billy said, inching closer to Freddy. He knew Freddy would stand alone until his leg gave out. Billy was always there to catch him.

“They’re zodiac’s, Billy. I swear it’s like you spent your life under a rock.” Freddy shook his head in disbelief. It wasn’t the first time they had a conversation like this, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. Freddy knew a lot more than Billy. Hell, Freddy knew a lot more than most adults. So Billy was never sure if Freddy was yelling at him for something he ‘should’ know because everyone else did, or if it was something only Freddy and a handful of other people knew.

“Oh, yeah. Makes sense. I mean what else do a Dragon and a Rat have in common?”

“Well, actually-” Freddy let out an undignified yelp as he took a step back and lost his balance. He had been standing so close to the edge of the stairs that now his bad foot hung on the edge. Then Freddy was falling back.

It all happened so fast, but Billy had been scared enough to experience it all in slow motion. His hands snapped out so fast, clinging to the closest thing in reach, which happened to be Freddy’s waist, and pulled him close, stopping the fall in mid progress. It was why he always stood so close to Freddy when he didn’t have his cane. He was wobbly at best, and this wasn’t the first time he had to catch him. This time could’ve been particularly bad, considering Freddy had been about to fall backwards down a set of stone steps.

Billy stood in shock for a long time before he realized what he was actually doing. In his haste to stop Freddy from potentially killing himself, he had wrapped his hands around Freddy’s waist and pulled him away from the edge. And in doing so, they were still pressed flushed together with Billy’s hands wrapped snugly around the dip of Freddy’s lower back. Even in the dark Billy could see just how flushed Freddy was. It took another few seconds for Billy to let go. He had never actually been face to face with his best friend like that, mostly because Freddy had always been so much shorter than him. When exactly had Freddy’s body gotten so.. Sturdy, rather than lean and twiggy? And was that a hint of a mustache he saw growing on Freddy’s upper lip?

Spinning Freddy around, he released him on the opposite side of the steps to prevent another slip. Cool air flowed into the area’s Freddy’s warm body had been pressed up against his. Billy shivered, wondering why that was even happening on a nice Summer night. It was like two deer caught in headlights, neither of them knowing what to say to the other. Freddy must be a little shocked from almost cracking his skull open. But Billy was feeling like a bad friend yet again, because that had been the first ever body on his like that. And he knew it was wrong that it had felt so right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally based on true events. Obviously it was much less dramatic. But my dumb ass was trying to take a picture of one of the heads, and I backed up too far and almost went backwards down the steps. i got caught tho


	9. Chapter 9

Girls. It’s like they were coming out of the woodwork. Over the summer Billy had shot up to what was probably going to be his final height. His voice dropped and he finally had thick patches of hair growing in all sorts of places. And apparently girls loved it. The first day of that school year three girls that had never even looked his way before had made a point of stopping him in the hall to talk. It was confusing and embarrassing and did wonders for Billy’s already inflated ego.

Even Freddy, as ‘undesirable’ as he was, which were his words alone, not Billy’s, was getting looks and smiles. Then on Valentines Day Freddy had received no less than ten Valentines. It had never happened for him before when it wasn’t mandatory and he was positively brimming with excitement for the next week. Billy was bitter the whole day.

It wasn’t because Freddy had gotten Valentines. Billy got far more, a few even had a couple with phone numbers attached that he knew he’d ignore. And it wasn’t because Freddy was finally excited for a Holiday that he had previously sworn off every year since before Billy knew him. And it sure as Hell wasn’t because of the glee that plastered itself to Freddy’s face that was extremely contagious.

No, Billy wasn’t mad at the attention Freddy was receiving. He was mad that Freddy only started getting attention now that he was ‘cute’. Billy had overheard those kind of comments since they come back from school break, and they had been slowly eating away at him. So what if ‘puberty hit Freddy like a train’, or whatever he had heard some girl say in math class. Billy had known Freddy for years and could vouch for how truly wonderful and amazing he was. Freddy was smart and funny and kind. He was sweet, gentle, and compassionate. He was literally the best person Billy knew and he wished everyone could see Freddy the way he did. But no one ever did. They never gave Freddy the time of day. He was a lump of flesh attached to a cane. A soul to pity, a freak, and a weirdo. But now he had looks so apparently he had worth. It made Billy sick to think about it.

A few days after Valentine’s day, Billy had walked into their bedroom, finding Freddy at his usual desk perch. Today, like every other day since the fourteenth, Billy found Freddy looking at one card in particular. The only reason he recognized it was because it was an actual card rather than the cheap little Valentines the school sold for kids to hand out to each other. Whoever gave it to Freddy must’ve really liked him if they went out of his way to get him that. Clearly Freddy was interested too, from the amount of times Billy caught him staring at it. Except every time Freddy got caught, he would shove the card in his desk, pretending like it never happened. Billy was tired of it.

“You should just ask her out, Freeman.” Billy flopped onto Freddy’s bed, not wanting to climb all the way up into his own. Recently he started working out due his lean frame. He didn’t plan on getting as buff as his Shazam form, but he also didn’t like looking at twiggy, muscle-less arms in the mirror. Plus he wanted the chance to be bigger than Freddy once again, even if he wouldn’t admit it to anyone. Rosa told him he was overreacting, but still managed to get him some exercise equipment. Now his body ached and climbing to the top of a bunk seemed nearly impossible. “She must really like you if she went through the effort of getting that. It’s personalized.”

“Oh, yeah.” Freddy let out one of the fakest laughs in the world. Most people might not have noticed, but Billy did.

“What? Who is it from?”

“It doesn’t matter, dude.” An all too familiar blush was creeping across Freddy’s face. It had been showing up more and more lately. Billy couldn’t imagine what was embarrassing his friend this time.

“Yes it does. Just tell me. I want to know who your new girlfriend is.” Billy teased, meaning well, until he saw Freddy’s leg bouncing. It only did that when he was nervous, and now it was going a mile a minute. “Geez it’s not that big of a deal, Freddy. What is she ugly? Is she weird? Who cares?”

Billy certainly didn’t care and up until now he was sure Freddy didn’t worry about that stuff either. Their stare off lasted longer than it should’ve with Freddy finally relenting in a big sigh. He grabbed the card out of the desk before flinging it toward Billy. Then he turned his body back to what he was working on, refusing to look at Billy.  
His initial thought of it being store bought was wrong. This card was clearly handmade and very well done. Tiny cut out hearts lined the front of the card in an elegant swirl, leading around the edge and into the inside. A tiny tic tac toe was drawn on the inside with X’s and little heart stickers replacing the O’s. Three hearts in a row with the words ‘You won my heart’ written elegantly in red stared back at him. Billy couldn’t help but think it was a little cheesy, but still cute. Then his eyes drifted down to the name on the bottom right corner. In the same beautiful red ink the card was simply signed James with a tiny heart next to it.

“Wait what?” Billy reread the name as if he had been wrong the first time.

“Yeah.” Freddy’s voice was soft at first, but then a little more firm when he asked, “Is that a problem?”

Was it a problem? Billy had never thought about that before. Freddy had loved the strip club that one time, and every other time since. He had just assumed Freddy liked girls. Was he wrong? Did Freddy like both? Wait, was Freddy even into this James kid?

“No?” He hated that his answer had come out more like a question. Of course he didn’t care that Freddy may or may not be gay. Bi? Pan? Billy’s brain scrambled for the words. He knew there was a lot, even if he wasn’t sure what they all meant. It was just a little surprising. Plus Billy kind of felt like an ass. ‘Who is she? Ask her out!’ Of course Freddy was feeling a little flustered now. “No. I just- I didn’t know.”

“Yeah well I don’t think I really did either.” Freddy told Billy, still not looking at him. His leg had stopped bouncing, but Billy noticed the slight tremor in his friends hand. “But I’m going to, uh, go for it.”

It took Billy a second to process the words before he realized what they meant. Freddy was going to ask out this guy. It was going to be his first boyfriend. Well, the first person Freddy dated ever. Billy should be excited. He should be thrilled. All he really wanted for Freddy was for him to be happy. So why was there a lump in his throat when he pushed the lie out, “Nice, man. I’m happy for you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I just wanted to thank everyone for the love and support. As always, I write the content I want to read, because sometimes I just can't find what I want. And knowing you guys love it too really means alot.  
> Questions/comments/concerns are always welcome

Was Billy homophobic? It was a question he’d been asking himself for weeks. He never thought of it as a problem. Well, he never gave it much thought at all. But here he was, once again the third wheel to a relationship he despised, asking himself if he only hated James because he was gay. Surely it had to be something else, but he couldn’t imagine what. Maybe it was the way he talked or how he acted. Billy bristled every time they were in the same room, which happened more often than not because Freddy didn’t stop hanging out with Billy now that he had a boyfriend. He wasn’t sure whether to be glad he still got time with his best friend, or upset that he was forced to spend so much time with a guy that made his blood boil.

The worst thing was that James was touchy. He was always holding Freddy’s hand or linking their arms together or smothering him in hugs. Billy hated it. The first time he saw James swoop in to plant a little peck on Freddy’s nose, Billy nearly bit through his own cheek. And he couldn’t help but feel like those were pure homophobic thoughts. He hated it. He had always prided himself on being either extremely open minded or just too uninterested to care. But now there was this and Billy hated himself for it, almost as much as he hated James.

“Earth to Billy!” James said in a sing songy voice, aware that Billy had spaced out yet again.

“Yup?” Billy gave an apologetic smile. Of course he wasn’t sorry for ignoring James, but he had to play nice for Freddy. There was a fire in his friends eyes that hadn’t been there before. Freddy was happier than he’d been in a long time. Billy wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that, no matter how much he wanted to throw James off the nearest building.

“I said I’m taking my little Freddy-Bear to the movies tonight, do you want to come with?” James flung an arm around Freddy’s waist, pulling him close. The pet names and physical affection made him nauseous.

“I can’t. I already made plans.” Billy lied. Of course he had no plans, but he was running out of excuses not to hang out with them by now. It was a last attempt at kindly blowing them off. If he had to sit through a two hour movie while James had his tongue down Freddy’s throat, he would blow his brains out.

“Tea! Who is it? That girl from English?” James practically hopped in place. Billy bit his lip in anger, making sure it didn’t show on his face. He never told James about that girl. The only one he told was Freddy, mentioning in passing that she was cute. Which meant Freddy was telling James personal stuff about Billy. Maybe it was the betrayal he was feeling from that information, or the way Freddy kept trying to guess who he was going out with, or the fact that Victor overheard and started giving him advice. It was all too much and eventually Billy panicked and texted one of the numbers in his phone. Then Billy was roped in to a date he didn’t want to go on with someone he didn’t really care for. And for what? He wasn’t sure.

The date itself didn’t last that long. Ellie was nice, cute, and funny. But she also had an extremely strict mom and had to be home by eight. They went bowling, which was the best thing Billy could come up with on such a short notice. He had a great time and she must have too because she texted him the same night asking to do it again soon. Maybe he would. There wasn’t anything inherently wrong with Ellie. She was great and they and gotten along so well. But it just didn’t feel… Right?

Of course Billy had barely been in a relationship before. Technically he had two girlfriends, dating one for two days and the other for a week. Neither of them had been great for either parties, hence the short time they lasted. Even being with Ellie felt better than those ‘relationships’ had felt. Maybe he just wasn’t experienced enough to know better. Maybe he should give Ellie another chance. That’s what most people would do.

Hell, he was sixteen. He should be dating. Most of the kids from school were dating someone, or at least trying. There were certain sections in the hall specifically dedicated for making out that Billy and Freddy avoided like the plague. Rumor had it that someone even got caught having sex there during first lunch period. Of course no one knew how true that was, but Billy had no reason to doubt it. Everyone was having sex so the idea wasn’t totally out of the question. Well, everyone was having sex but Billy. It’s not that he didn’t want to. In fact, he had a lot of hormones begging for it on a daily, nightly, and random-time-of-the-day basis. But it just felt wrong. And Billy had no idea if that was normal or not.

Like Ellie had been amazing, but given the chance to do something with her, Billy wasn’t sure he’d take that opportunity. It wasn’t like he was waiting for marriage or anything. He had never been particularly religious, nor did he really care for the ‘normality’ of marriage. But Billy had certain ideals about his first time. He wanted it to be special with someone he truly cared about. And Billy hadn’t found that person yet.

In fact, there weren’t many people Billy really did care about. But the few people he did care for, he loved with all his heart. It had been a little over two years since Billy came to the Vasquez house and since then he had grown close to everyone there. Billy would lay down his life in a heartbeat for any one of them. They were his family. Victor’s gentle-tough love mixed with Rosa’s constant warmth and forgiveness. Or Mary’s nitpicking to make sure Billy ended up acting like the best version of himself possible. There was Pedro, who would listen intently every time Billy needed someone to rant and rave to, regardless of whether or not he had life changing advice to give. And Eugene that never really knew the right words to say, but still never failed to cheer Billy up by letting him win a game or two. Darla had started turning into a strong, independent young woman that was never afraid to put Billy in his place. But most importantly there was Freddy.

Freddy was unarguably the best thing that had happened to Billy. Without him, Billy wouldn’t have a Home. Not now and probably not ever. They had shared so many memories and good times together that Billy couldn’t imagine his life without his best friend. Freddy taught him everything he knew about being a hero as well as everything he knew about being a friend. It was hard not to pick up a few tips and tricks from the best. And Freddy was, without a doubt, the best friend in the world. He had seen something in Billy that no one ever had before, and because of that, Billy owed him everything.

Every good memory he had from the last two years was because of Freddy’s initial intervention. Though to be honest, most of them were directly related to being with Freddy. Like the time they had a long weekend and raced around Philadelphia on their makeshift obstacle course for three nights in a row, making each night more and more difficult because they could never settle on who was the true winner. Or the time they decided to ‘redecorate’ the lair by dressing the Sins in increasingly ridiculous outfits and waiting to see which of the others would notice it first. Or even the more domestic moments when they would sit on opposite ends of Freddy’s bunk while he tried his best to make Billy understand things the teachers just never could. Somehow it always made more sense when Freddy sat him down and explained things, always finding new ways to make sure Billy understood.

But that’s just because Freddy was brilliant. He was the smartest person Billy knew. More often than not Billy only passed tests and quizzes because of Freddy’s unwavering patience toward whatever was going on in Billy’s brain that made him so ‘unfocused’. That was the words Freddy had drilled into his brain after the first few times Billy called himself stupid. Freddy argued with him endlessly over that one. Billy wasn’t ‘dumb’, he just had trouble focusing in school.

“How can you be stupid if you’re picking up everything I’m teaching you?” Freddy had practically yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration. That’s what really got through to Billy. He didn’t like seeing Freddy so upset. Plus he wasn’t exactly wrong. Billy learned perfectly fine when it was one on one.

Freddy was too kind hearted to listen to Billy call himself dumb. That’s why he put an end to it. And Billy didn’t like upsetting Freddy, so he stopped using negative terms when talking about himself. All he wanted was to see Freddy smile. It was such a contagious smile. Whenever Freddy was happy Billy was too. Likewise, whenever Freddy was in a bad mood it ruined Billy’s day just as effectively. He never questioned it until now.

Because now Freddy was happy and Billy wasn’t. His best friend was happy and probably falling in love and the very least Billy could do was be happy about that too. But he wasn’t. Billy had been miserable since the day James walked into his life. The more he thought about it the less he understood what he was really feeling. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that Billy realized what was actually going on.

It had started off like any other night. Homework, dinner, more homework, chores, and then bedtime. Except Billy couldn’t sleep. It had been such a long and stressful day with two papers due that Billy knew he wouldn’t be getting a good grade on. Then to top it off Freddy had invited James over. The only silver lining was that James had only stayed an hour. Billy was glad to see him go.

But now he was in bed, stressed out, pent up, and angry over things he didn’t even understand. Freddy had been asleep for a while, so Billy figured the easiest way to relax was to relieve some of the tension building up in his teenage body. Of course the easiest way for that was masturbation. It was nothing new to Billy, obviously. However, this was one of the first times he had such a hard time focusing on it. Mid-stroke Billy heard a soft noise from the bunk below his. The sound of Freddy rolling around in bed echoed out in the silence. Billy had quickly become an expert at ignoring Freddy at times like this.

Except the sound Freddy made Billy freeze. It wasn’t a noise he had heard before, and if he was being honest with himself, it had sounded kind of… erotic. Billy’s face burned. That wasn’t the kind of thing he should be listening to. Especially not when he was in a similar situation. He knew it was wrong. But before he could make the decision to stop or keep going, he heard a soft whisper in the pitch black room.

“James.”

Freddy was dreaming about James. Freddy was having sexy dreams about James. Billy went soft in his own hand. It was such an immediate reaction that he almost missed the only other emotion he was feeling besides disgust. Jealousy.


	11. Chapter 11

The day James broke up with Freddy was one of the worst days of Billy’s life. He had only recently come to terms with the fact that he had feelings with Freddy a couple weeks prior and had been an emotional wreck since. Now he was sitting there holding Freddy, who cried shamelessly over losing someone he really cared about, and Billy was happy. No more James and he got to cradle Freddy close. What more could Billy ask for?

Well for starters, the guilt spreading in his chest could stop. That would be nice. It’s not like he enjoyed having a totally inappropriate crush on his best friend in the whole world. It was weird and wrong and Billy was probably going to hell for smelling those soft, wild curls he had his nose buried in. It’s not like he liked seeing Freddy cry. In fact he hated it so much that it made his heart ache. But even Freddy’s puffy red eyes and tear streaked face couldn’t stop the pure joy Billy felt knowing he would never have to deal with James again. So Billy was a bad person and an even worse friend. He didn’t know what to do, so he held on tighter and let Freddy bury his head into his shoulder.

He had come home late to that, staying late at school for an extra credit assignment. Darla was the one to alert him to Freddy crying, though everyone knew it was happening, but not why. Freddy had been curled up in bed crying loudly. Billy had never really seen Freddy cry before. It was a sight that he never wanted to see again. Without thinking, Billy was sitting on Freddy’s bunk. Sniffling and furiously wiping at his eyes, Freddy explained that James had dumped him but wouldn’t go into specifics. Billy wasn’t even sure if he had to kick James’ ass or not. He might do it anyways just for making Freddy cry, but he wasn’t really sure if it had been a gentle break up or not. All he knew was that Freddy was upset.

And when Freddy sat up, Billy couldn’t help but wrap his arms around him and pull his friend into a hug. It wasn’t super weird. They had hugged before on occasion. The only difference was that now Billy was aware of feeling he hadn’t even known existed before. And he was thankful that Freddy didn’t push him away, but rather clung to him like a lifeline. Billy wanted to kiss the mop of curls that rested so close to his lips. He wanted to whisper to Freddy how much he truly meant to him. He wanted to wipe those tears away and make sure they never came back.

But Billy couldn’t do any of that. Instead he held Freddy until his arms were sore and his foot was asleep from the way he was sitting. He held on until the tears stopped and Freddy was pulling away on his own. They didn’t really talk much the rest of that night. Billy wasn’t brave enough to do anything later at the soft sound of sniffles coming from the bottom bunk when the two of them should’ve been asleep.

The next few days Freddy was practically a zombie. He didn’t talk as much as usual, he barely ate, and he went to bed early every night. The worst part was that he refused to go out on patrol with Billy, claiming that he was ‘tired’ and maybe they’d go tomorrow. They never did. Finally Billy had enough. He was dying to talk to someone about everything. There was only one person he could think of. The same person he went to in order to vent about anything and everything else.

“Hey.” Billy hovered outside the open bedroom door giving it a small knock to alert Pedro to his presence. Looking up from his phone, the older boy waved Billy in. He saw the way Pedro’s eyebrow quirked when Billy shut the door behind him.

Similar to Billy and Freddy’s room, Pedro and Eugene’s room had a bunk bed, desk, shelves, and a closet. Though it was admittedly smaller, it seemed much more neat and far less clustered. Billy pulled up a chair next to the bed, sitting on it backwards so he could rest his head on his forearms. He knew the stare off they were having wouldn’t end until he said something, yet Billy’s throat had dried up and he was having a hard time finding the right words.

“So. You don’t like girls.” Billy finally blurted out. Smooth. It was a memory from long ago when Billy had accidentally brought them to the strip club of all places. Pedro had said something about the girls being ‘not his thing.’ It wasn’t exactly how Billy wanted this conversation to go, but what other gay people did he know? Besides Freddy. It’s not like Billy could go up to Freddy and say hey I have a crush on you and don't know how to handle it, wanna help? “You’re gay?”

“No.” Pedro’s face was blank as usual. That didn’t help Billy at all.

“So you’re... What? Bi? Pan? Something else? Come on man, help me out here.” Billy could feel a little heat rush to his cheeks. He wasn’t trying to come off as insensitive, and he knew Pedro wouldn’t take it that way. But still, Billy had a lot of confusing thoughts and the longer he couldn’t sort through them, the more agitated he would get.  
“Look at it this way, Billy. I don’t like people.” Pedro told him matter of factly. “Girls, boys, I’m not really into either. Or anything really.”

“Ohhhhhhkay?” Billy thought about it. That didn’t make any sense to him.

“Pick something in this room that you like.”

“What?” That was off topic, though Pedro usually had a way of incorporating this sort of stuff in to conversations. Billy didn’t see how though.

“Just pick something nice looking in this room. Anything.” Pedro didn’t roll his eyes, but Billy could practically hear it in his voice.

“Um. Fine.” Looking around, Billy’s eyes landed on a shirt hanging off the side of the bunk bed. “That. It’s looks good.”

“Do you want it?”

“What? No.” Billy was confused now. Where was Pedro going with this?

“But you said it looks nice. You must want it.”

“Just because it looks nice doesn’t mean I want it.” Billy said before things clicked into place. “Oh.”

“Exactly. I’m perfectly aware that there are good looking people out there. And they’re nice to look at. I just don’t want them for myself.”

Billy nodded. Of course he couldn’t really relate to that, but he understood it. He hoped. “Ok.”

“Now, I guess you just have to ask yourself if you want that boy for yourself or not.”

Billy blushed. He hadn’t said anything about liking anyone, especially not another guy. But why else would Billy be there asking about Pedro’s sexuality. His Brother was very smart and always so observant. Billy figured that was a learned skill that came with years of not talking.

Billy didn’t reply, but as he walked out of his room, he already knew the answer. Of course Billy wanted Freddy. He wanted him more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. Because being with Freddy felt right. It was the thing he had been looking for all along. He just didn't know why it took him this long to figure it all out.


	12. Chapter 12

Wanting Freddy was like wanting to walk on the sun. Something he knew would never happen, yet never seemed to dull his thirst for adventure. It would be weird and wrong, but Billy couldn’t shake his feelings even if he wanted to. It’s not like they were even related or anything. But they were being raised together in a foster ‘family’, which should make Freddy like a brother to him. Except he wasn’t. Everyone else felt like family except for Freddy, and it had always been that way. They had gone from strangers to companions to friends to best friends. Billy never thought it strange that Freddy wasn’t a brother to him until he developed some very unbrotherly feelings. Now it was something his brain seemed to dwell on constantly.

So was it morally wrong to pine over someone he shared a room with? Maybe. Did Billy care? Not nearly as much as he should. Of course he’d never act on those feelings, because he could never risk losing the most important person in his life. Billy would rather keep his feelings buried forever as long as it meant he could have Freddy in his life. Even if it wasn’t the way he wanted. But that didn’t stop Billy from imagining what their life could be like. Slow kisses, soft touches, just being able to lay in bed and hold Freddy. Billy had never really hated James for making Freddy happy, he had just been jealous that he couldn’t be the one to do it instead. Why it took him so long to realize all of it, he’d never know.

Because of course he liked Freddy. He liked his smile and his laugh and all his weird facts and his kind heart and anything and everything else. Did he love Freddy? Probably. But he had only just come to terms with the fact that he liked a boy. Admitting to anything more serious than a simple soul-consuming crush was terrifying.

Surprisingly little changed after he realized how he really felt. They still shared a bedroom. They still hung out. They still laughed together, fought together, and ate together. Freddy still went out of his way to help Billy. And Billy would still die for Freddy in an instant. The only thing different was that Billy was painfully aware of things he’d never noticed before. Every innocent touch, every sexual innuendo that fell out of Freddy’s mouth since that had become his new ‘thing’, every time a girl fawned over Freddy in his skintight blue suit. Everything.

It was like a little switch had gone off in his head making his one and only focus Freddy. Sure it was doing all sorts of things to his head and his heart that he didn’t understand, but Billy didn’t really care. His main goal was keeping Freddy happy. So far it was going… decent? He wasn’t entirely sure. This was the first real breakup Billy had to deal with. But the fact that Freddy was fully functional and only sad occasionally had to be progress. Hopefully.

“I don’t know why I bother telling you things. It’s like I’m talking to myself.” Freddy’s frown was what brought Billy back to the conversation. He had spaced out thinking about what the exact shade of Freddy’s dark eyes were. Plain brown until they hit sunlight, then it was like a burst of colors Billy never imagined possible.

“I was totally listening.” Billy stuck his hand into the bag of chips in front of them. Sitting on rooftops had always been something they did, but now it was such a common occurrence that Billy seriously considered bringing a table up for homework. But sitting, talking, and snacking was a lot more fun.

“Then what did I just say?” Freddy rolled his eyes, already knowing Billy couldn’t answer.

“You said I’m the best friend in the whole world?” It was a lie. Billy was probably the worst friend in the history of forever for about a million reasons. But Freddy didn’t know that, nor did he like when Billy said bad things about himself, so he resorted to lies instead.

“A good friend would listen.” Freddy threw a mini pretzel at Billy’s face. It bounced of his cheek and fell of the side of the building to the ground. “Ooops.”

“Nice going, Freeman. We’re supposed to be heroes, and here you are littering.” Thankfully Billy was out of slapping range, though if he was being honest with himself, he probably wouldn’t mind the skin to skin contact. Goosebumps broke out all over Billy every time Freddy touched him. Light punches, tapping, occasional hugs, and even when they brushed up against each other in the halls. 

“It’s a pretzel, relax. There’s like a million things down there that will eat it.” Freddy looked over the edge, smirking. “Can eat me, too.”

Billy didn’t know if it was meant in a sexual way or a ‘fuck you’ way. Though all his brain could focus was on the sexual aspect. One thought lead to another, then suddenly Billy was pinning Freddy to the rough surface beneath them, kissing him fervently, in his mind. He had to move his cup of soda into his lap to hide his growing situation. Being around Freddy often lead to daydreaming about him. This wasn’t the first time Billy had to pretend that fucking Freddy wasn’t the only thing going through his mind and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. But what was he supposed to do? It must have something to do with hormones. Being a horny teen was the only thing he was really good at. Well, that and fighting crime. Kind of. He was mostly good at being inappropriately horny.

Especially at night when Freddy would toss and turn on the bunk below, letting out soft little noises in his sleep. All Billy could do was wonder if that’s what he’d sound like during sex. Could Billy even get noises like that to come out of Freddy’s plump pink lips? He knew the basics, and after realizing his crush he had switched over to guy on guy porn so he could imagine it was Freddy. But he’d never actually done anything with anyone. What if he messed up?

Not that it really mattered. It’s not like he’d ever get the chance to try something with Freddy anyways. All this did was make him feel like an even worse friend than he already knew he was. As long as Freddy never found out, then everything would be fine.


	13. Chapter 13

The Carnival was like a little slap to the face. It was the first year back since Billy and the others had inadvertently destroyed it battling Sivana. For the longest time Billy didn’t want to go. Memories of his Mother threatened to breach the surface of his mind. Going would only reopen old wounds. But he could see the excitement in Freddy’s eyes, and how could he say no to that? Especially when Freddy offered to stay home with Billy instead. He was the only one who knew the whole story of how Billy lost his Mother. He knew exactly why Billy didn’t want to go. But old, bitter feelings versus Freddy’s happiness…. The choice was easy.

“This is so cool.” Freddy’s voice was practically a squeal as he wobbled in place next to Billy. Thinking he was about to fall, Billy let a hand reach out and steady him around the waist. It wasn’t until Freddy gave him a little sideways glance that Billy realized Freddy hadn’t lost his balance, and he was just wrapping an arm intimately around him for nothing. His face burned as he pulled his arm back to his own side.

“It’s different than I remember it.” Billy told him, looking around. True, Billy had only been to a carnival two times, once when he was too little to really remember much, and the other in the midst of a fight. But it seemed strange to him. Everyone was so happy. Including Freddy.

“Well I should hope so. We’re going to have fun this time. And it’s not like you can lose me.” Freddy told him before walking off toward the entrance. Of course it had been meant innocently, but Billy took it to heart. The only thing that mattered in his life before was his Mother. Now it was Freddy. Of course he wasn’t about to lose him here. Even if it meant tying a rope to him.

They walked around the Carnival one full time before deciding what to do. There were a few rides here and there, some of which Freddy couldn’t go on due to his back. Of course the house of mirrors was out of the question. Freddy was afraid he’d break something with his cane on accident. Plus they didn’t exactly have a ton of money for games. But that didn’t stop Billy from having the time of his life. How could he stay mad after watching Freddy eat an entire bag of cotton candy in two minutes flat?  
“Ferris Wheel.” Freddy finally decided on. Billy let him pick rides out so there would be no issues. He knew if he picked something Freddy couldn’t ride without hurting himself, then Freddy would do it regardless. Billy was only here to make sure Freddy had a good time.

Being able to fly meant Billy never really acquired a fear of heights. It’s hard to be afraid of falling when you know you’ll never hit the ground. The Ferris Wheel was different though. Maybe because it felt more like a cage than anything? Or perhaps it was the fact that it was so tiny in there that his leg was pressed flush against Freddy’s. Stuck in a cage with the object of his affection. It was warm enough out that Billy could blame the sweat forming on his forehead on the weather.

“It’s nice.” Freddy’s face was serene. It wasn’t a look Billy saw there often.

“What?” Your face? Absolutely.

“Being up all the way up here like this.” Freddy gestured to his body. Billy understood. Just being themselves made this different somehow, regardless of how many times Billy had seen Philadelphia from this height before. It was nice seeing Freddy look so peaceful. Even if Billy wanted to climb out of the side and just jump. He was enjoying being so close to Freddy just a little too much, and there was no way to hide it.

Thankfully Freddy spent the entire ride looking around at everything other than the bulge in Billy’s pants. It was easier to shift around and hide once they were on the ground. The rocking boat and zipper were out of the question, though maybe Billy would see if Freddy wanted to come back in their other forms and try those out. When it wouldn’t jostle Freddy around to do more damage to his already injured nerves.

It was on their third time by a cart that Billy realized Freddy was looking at something. Turning his head, he let his eyes roam over the prizes before settle on the one he knew Freddy must be looking at. A superman poster. Rolling his eyes, Billy walked to the man and handed him money. It wasn’t even one of the top prizes. He could win it easily. Probably. Why Freddy had such an obsession with Superman, he wasn’t sure. It hurt his pride a little knowing that it was probably a crush. But if the stupid poster would make Freddy happy, then he’d get it.

Knocking over bottles wasn’t that hard, even with a rigged game. If worst came to worse, Billy could always just Shazam around the corner and come back to try again. Billy could practically feel Freddy over his shoulder watching. He tried not to let it distract him.

‘It’s not like Mommy’s going pro, here.’ The words echoed in his head, filling him with a flash of anger that only spurred him on. Billy was going to get the poster no matter what. 

“Nice job, son.” The Carny said without emotion. “You can pick a prize from any of these.”

The poster was up one more row. Billy told him he wanted to keep playing for a bigger prize. By the time he finally got there, Billy was almost out of money. Not that it mattered. It would be worth it as long as Freddy was happy.

“One Superboy poster.” The Carny said just as unenthusiastically as before. Billy could practically feel the way Freddy bristled behind him at the nickname. “You also get to pick something from here.”

He pulled out a little basket, handing it over to Billy. It was a bunch of lame prizes. Stickers, plastic rings, bracelets, poppers, and a bunch of other worthless things. Nothing Billy was interested in. Until he saw a swirl of red and blue at the bottom. It was ballsy to say the least, but he reached through the rest of the prizes and grabbed it. Thanking the man, Billy turned around and faced Freddy, handing over the poster and bracelet.

For a terrifying second, Billy thought Freddy might say no, or read too much into the intertwined blue and red bracelet and call him out on it. But then Freddy was pulling him into a firm hug that made Billy tingle straight down to his core until he went to sleep hours later. The rest of the night Billy kept letting his eyes drift down to Freddy’s wrist where the red and blue string contrasted in the best way with soft, pale skin.


	14. Chapter 14

Freddy hadn’t taken the bracelet off once. Billy knew because he checked every time he saw his friend. It made him feel...possessive, even though he knew he had absolutely no right to be. To Freddy it had been a simple gift from a friend. Red and Blue to symbolize the color of their suits, which was something that connected them always. And even though he was reluctant to admit it, Freddy probably saw it as something Brotherly. But to Billy, it was more of a ‘I want to see my color wrapped around yours’. He wasn’t sure if that made him a bad person or just an awful friend.

The poster stuck to the wall in where Freddy could see it from all angles. Billy wasn’t thrilled with Freddy’s obsession over Superman, but he also knew it was harmless. The only thing it could hurt was his ego, and that was due for a serious downsizing. Especially with the way it seemed to permanently inflate at Freddy wearing his bracelet. Who knew something so small and silly could end up meaning so much? Certainly not Billy.

But it was always on his mind. Whenever he got alone time, he would imagine that small, delicate wrist entwined with red and blue, attached to the world's smoothest palm and most elegant fingers wrapped around his cock. It was something he couldn’t help but fetishize, and now every time he saw it, his mind linked the two of them together. At lunch when Freddy would trace his fingers over the braided material, Billy’s pants would get tighter, too entranced to look away.

At this point Billy couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad. He was in too deep. This slow descent into Hell was torture. Yet, Billy was the one who made this Hell for himself. There was no one else to blame, even though he desperately wanted to say it was really all Freddy’s fault. Honestly, it wasn’t even fair that Freddy was perfect in every single way. How was Billy supposed to see him and not imagine being buried balls deep in his ass? It was impossible. Just like it was impossible for Billy to see Freddy’s big, stupid smile and not want to kiss it right off him.

His one saving grace was that there was no more James. No more anyone in fact. Freddy hadn’t started dating anyone else, or even talking to anyone in that kind of way as far as Billy knew. Of course he wanted his friend to be happy no matter what, but he slept a lot better at night when he didn’t have to watch someone else attach themselves to Freddy’s face like a damn leech. The only thing keeping him from feeling like a complete monster about having those kinds of thoughts was the simple fact that Freddy seemed happy. As long as Freddy was happy then what harm could a few toxic thoughts do? The only one that stood to get hurt was Billy, and he was fine with that. Billy had been hurt enough times in his life that he knew you had to make the best out of the good moments. 

And everything about Freddy was good. He wasn’t about to throw it all away because he couldn’t keep his hormones under control. Billy would just have to try harder. But it was hard. It was so hard not to reach out grab hold of Freddy. Brush his fluffy curls out of his eyes, grab his face and pull him in for a kiss, press their bodies together. It was even difficult to not blurt things out that would give his feelings away.

“Is that what we’re going to look like when we’re older?” Freddy had asked him while standing in front of the new, full length mirror in their bedroom after they had snuck in late one night.

“I don’t really know.” Billy answered truthfully. There was no reason to believe they wouldn’t. The wizard had said something about him being his full potential, whatever that meant. But they were only teenagers, and what he had first thought to be a twenty or thirty year old body was probably more likely a forty year old. Would he look exactly like that at forty? Who knew.

“I hope so. That me is a lot hotter than this me.” Freddy frowned and Billy wanted to scream at him. He wanted to shake Freddy and tell him he was beautiful both ways. It would’ve felt amazing to get it off his chest that he thought Freddy was so hot that Billy fantasized about him almost every night. Instead Billy let Freddy’s words fester in him for the rest of the night. How Freddy could think himself ugly was mind boggling. Sure, maybe Freddy wasn’t a lot of peoples ‘type’ but Billy couldn’t describe him as anything short of a literal fucking angel.

Which is how Billy found himself throwing out compliments like they were going out of style. It had been a little weird at first, trying to tell Freddy he looked nice in a total No Homo, Dude Bro sort of way. But he couldn’t bare for Freddy to have such a low self esteem. ‘Your hair looks nice today.’ ‘Hey, that blue looks good on you.’ along with other things that made a lump form in Billy’s throat. Each time he was sure Freddy would question one of his innocent compliments and expose Billy for the freak he really was. Yet, each time Freddy would just smile, blush, and thank him, or defect the conversation altogether.

It wasn’t much, but Billy figured he was making progress when he started noticing that Freddy wore a shirt he complimented more often. It was plain, tight, and black. Rosa hated it, saying Freddy had dark hair and eyes so he should pair it with light colors. But Billy loved the way it hugged Freddy’s body, showing off a full but lean frame. Plus it made him look all dark and broody in a way Billy had never seen. So maybe telling Freddy he looked nice in that shirt had been a mistake, because now Billy was weak in the knees every time he did.

The day he walked into the living room and saw Freddy sitting in that tight black shirt and Billy’s very own red sweatshirt, he nearly fell over. Grabbing onto the wall was the only thing keeping his wobbly knees from giving out. It had been a running gag in the family that Billy loved his red sweatshirt more than anything else. So when he grew out of it, Rosa had bought him a new one. Then again once he grew out of that one too. Hopefully now his growth spurts were all over, because he particularly enjoyed his newest red sweatshirt which was made out of a slightly different material than the two before.

And now it was wrapped around Freddy’s smaller frame, looking far too big. He sat propped up on one side of the couch with his legs draped all the way across and a comic book in his lap. Freddy must have been so wrapped up in the comic because he didn’t even notice Billy until he had shuffled over to him on extremely unsteady feet.

“Oh hey.” Freddy looked up at him, moving his feet a little so Billy could sit at the opposite end of the couch. The spot where Freddy’s socked feet still touched Billy’s thigh were on fire. Then Freddy was looking down at himself, as if just remembering what he was wearing. Immediately he started unzipping it to give it back. “Sorry, I was cold and this was the only thing I could find.”

“No!” Billy knew it came out louder than it should’ve. “It’s fine. I’m not using it now, anyways. Besides… It looks good on you, Freddy.”

Freddy’s face turned nearly the same shade as the sweatshirt itself but smiled nonetheless. And even as Freddy zipped it back up around himself Billy knew he probably would never get that amazing sweatshirt back, but he could care less. As long as Freddy was happy, Billy was happy.


	15. Chapter 15

“I don’t see why we have to.” Billy grumbled, trudging along side Freddy. He didn’t want to go out now and he definitely didn’t want to go out later.

“Because I want to drink, that’s why.” Freddy sighed, stopping behind the store to catch his breath.

“And it’s a party. With alcohol. They’ll have drinks there already. I don’t see why we have to buy our own.”

“Because I want to drink something GOOD. Remember that beer you got? It tasted like actual vomit. I’m not going to have fun if I’m drinking that all night.” Freddy waited for Billy to argue back, but there was nothing he could say now. Freddy was absolutely right. That beer had been the single worst thing Billy ever tasted. It was part of the reason he didn’t even want to go to the party in the first place.

“Well why can’t someone else get it?” Billy was running out of arguments now.

“Because they’re children and we’re not.” Freddy stuck a hand out to stop Billy from interrupting. “We don’t look like kids, ok? Is that better?”

“Kids. Shouldn’t be drinking anyways.” Billy mumbled.

“Billy, I’m seventeen. If I had a parent to sign my papers I could go fight and die for my country. If I’m old enough for that then I think I’m old enough to have a damn drink.”

“Victor and Rosa could sign for you, you know.”

“Oh, absolutely. I’m sure me and my cane would have a blast over there for like three seconds before they shoot me down.” Freddy rolled his eyes before blurting, “Shazam!”

Sure they were in an area of town that hardly anyone ever went to behind a shitty little liquor store, but the fact that no one ever cared about random bolts of lightning never ceased to amaze him. They probably wouldn’t even care if two superheros walked in together looking utterly confused about alcohol, but Billy didn’t want to risk it, so he stayed outside. It took around twenty minutes for Freddy to come back out, bag in hand.

“Dude, what took so long?” Billy had been getting ready to go in and drag Freddy out.

“I was looking. There’s a lot in there, ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Just show me what you got.” Billy grabbed the back to peek inside. Two bottles should be more than enough. It’s not like they could drink the whole thing anyways. Just a little and leave the rest for other people.

“Malibu Coconut Caribbean Rum and Svedka Mango Pineapple?” Billy frowned, looking back at Freddy. “These are girly drinks, though.”

“Yeah? So? What, I can’t have them because i have a penis? Oh boy, i sure hope people don’t think I’m Gay!” He had never seen Freddy roll his eyes harder than that. “Trust me. They're fruity and delicious. Like me.”

Billy turned to walk away in order to hide his blush. He bet Freddy was delicious. Which was the other reason he didn’t want to go to this party. It was already hard enough to control himself around Freddy, but add alcohol into the mix and he was sure there would be trouble. Of course he couldn’t know for sure, but Billy had heard stories. Lowered inhibitions, desires, a dangerous situation to put himself into. But Freddy was dying to go, and Billy wouldn’t let him go alone.

“Come on, lets fly. I know I said I wanted to be fashionably late, but not this late.” How was Billy supposed to argue with that pout?

“Shazam!”

Billy didn’t even know whose party it actually was. It was a friend of a friend of a friend and their parents were out of town. It was big, there would be beer, and everyone was going. Why Freddy even wanted to be there, he wasn’t sure. But there they were, walking up the front steps, holding their damn girly drinks. Billy could already hear the music blasting.

Arriving late meant the party was already in full swing. People dancing with red solo cups and glass bottles, the dank smell of weed that only seemed to cover half the house, and so much noise that Billy knew he’d have a headache within the next few minutes.

Everyone seemed to flock to their bottles once they placed them on the table, so for good measure, Freddy grabbed two cups, filling them both almost all the way before offering them to Billy. Rum or Vodka? Billy wasn’t sure, but he did kind of like coconut.

It didn’t taste like coconut at all. Well kind of, but the alcohol was so overpowering that Billy’s eyes watered. Freddy seemed to be in the same boat. Wordlessly they swapped cups to taste the others drink. The vodka was even worse. He wasn’t sure if Freddy preferred the vodka or could just see how visibly disgusted Billy was with it, because suddenly they were switching back. The rum wasn’t so bad after that, though Billy cringed every time he took a sip.

It was their first time drinking, so Billy wasn’t surprised that he was getting drunk fast. They had managed to shuffle through the living room to the back of the house. Billy held both drinks so Freddy could balance himself better with all the bumping and shoving bodies. They ended up in what must have been a dining room, but the table had either never been there or had been moved somewhere safer. A few people sat around on the floor chatting, crying, and there was even a couple in a corner making out. It was the least crowded room they’d been in, so they decided to sit in the empty corner to the right of the door. Billy wasn’t sure if being on the ground would upset Freddy’s back, but by the looks of him, he was a little past feeling pain. He had drunk more than Billy.

“Slow down a little, man.” Billy said loudly. Unfortunately this was the quietest room, but he still found himself yelling. In response Freddy tipped his cup back and started chugging. “Or not.”

Billy watched Freddy’s face morph into one of pure joy and found it hard to get mad. But as Freddy started reaching for Billy’s cup, he knew they were both in for a rough night.


	16. Chapter 16

Billy was tipsy for the first time in his life and he couldn’t even really enjoy it because he was too busy taking care of Freddy. Freddy was laughing at his own words, grabbing wildly at Billy, and couldn’t even pick himself up off the floor at this point. He didn’t know how to feel. Tingly every time Freddy pulled on Billy’s hand to get his attention and used a whiney voice he had never heard before to say, “Billllyyyy!” But also terrified that he would do something stupid like kiss Freddy. It would be so easy with the way Freddy was invading his personal space like never before. Plus at this point, he wasn’t even sure Freddy would remember it tomorrow. But it was wrong, and even drunk Billy knew that.

“Freddy let go, I’m going to the bathroom.” Billy tugged at the hands fisted onto his own sleeve trying to pry them off. He didn’t even know why Freddy was holding him like that in the first place. “I’ll bring you back another drink.”

He had been holding out on doing that because Freddy already had so much in the first place. But he knew it was the easiest way to get out of the death grip he was in. It must have taken a second for the words to sink in, but eventually Freddy was pulling away, grinning at Billy like an idiot. A beautiful idiot.

Billy was wobbly, but not as bad as some of the other kids he saw stumbling around the house. After the first person couldn’t hear his question over the music, Billy resorted to looking for the bathroom on his own. The house was unnecessarily big with a ton of doors. Looking up at the stairs, Billy considered just going outside to pee rather than risk falling down the steps. Sadly he could see a group of people on the lawn, and he wasn’t drunk enough to not care about them seeing him. Wobbling slowly up the steps, Billy opened the first door on the right.

While he could tell right away that it wasn’t the bathroom he was looking for, it still took a few seconds for his eyes to process what was happening. Six people sat around in various stages of nakedness, exposing Billy to his first real life titties. It was like a religious experience wrapped in a nightmare. White powder smeared across one girls face stood in stark contrast to her dark skin. A boy looked up at Billy, either not noticing or not caring that a trickle of blood leaked from his left nostril. Billy recognized a few of the faces as people in his grade, though he didn’t know any names. Two of the boys were much older, and probably in college. Or at least of college age. Billy nearly toppled over trying to back out of the room and shut the door behind him.

It took another minute to work up the courage to try the next door. Thankfully it was locked, because as soon as he turned the handle, Billy recognized the unmistakable sounds of sex on the other side of the door. Speed walking to the door at the other end of the hallway, Billy was relieved that he had finally found the right room. Slamming the door shut behind him, he triple checked that it was locked before stumbling to the toilet. It was probably the longest pee of his life, and even once he was done, Billy stood there staring into the bowl in shock. Where the hell was he and why had he even agreed to go?

Obviously it had been to make Freddy happy, but he was sure they’d never be doing this again. Whether it upset his friend or not, Billy wasn’t coming back to something like this. He wasn’t even having fun. Drinking was stupid. Cocaine was even worse, and had ruined his first real life nipple experience. Sure, he had been in strip club before, but never at a time where actual titties were uncovered.

After another minute or two Billy left the bathroom, practically running back down the hall to the stairs. It was a slow descent, trying to keep his balance while also avoiding the crowds of people who decided the steps were the prime hangout spot. At the alcohol table, Billy looked through the now slim selection, trying to find something Freddy would like. The only thing left was beer. So it was that or nothing. Billy grabbed one at random before pushing his way through the crowd once more. He wasn’t even sure there was this many people in his school, so why were there so many people there in the first place?

Freddy was more or less where Billy left him, only now he was sprawled out on the floor, waving his cane in the air. Billy had to snatch it out of his hand and throw it on the ground to avoid being hit in the face.

“Billy! You’re back.” Freddy smiled up at him. “I missed you!”

“I missed you, too.” Billy grabbed Freddy’s outstretched hand, pulling him into a seated position. The only good side to this night was that Freddy was being uncharacteristically clingy. Billy loved it. “Here, it's all that’s left.”

Freddy ripped the bottle out of Billy’s hand in a flash, chugging it fast. “It’s so bad. Tastes like vomit.”

“So don’t drink it.” Billy frowned as Freddy took another sip anyways.

“Gotta.”

“You really don’t.” It was a weak argument and Freddy wasn’t even listening anymore. At least he was drinking it slower than everything else he tried. “So when did you want to leave?”

“I don’t.” Freddy let a hand rest on Billy’s leg this time and his mind went blank. He kept telling himself that it was just a knee and didn't have to mean anything. But when that small but firm hand started trailing up his thigh, Billy nearly bit through his own tongue in a panic.

“What- what are you doing?” The words stuttered on their way out. Billy was ready to jump up and run. It felt really good and he knew it was wrong of him to enjoy it. Freddy probably didn’t even know what he was doing.

“Sh.” Freddy shushed him while leaning forward.

“Freddy, I thi-” Was all that Billy managed to get out before soft lips were smashing roughly against his.


	17. Chapter 17

Waking up to a throbbing headache wasn’t something Freddy was used to. Still in his clothes from yesterday, Freddy rolled over onto his back and looked around. The sun was bright enough that it had to be at least noon, though if he were to guess it was probably sometime after one or two. With a rotten taste of vomit in his mouth, Freddy rolled out of bed and nearly toppled over. It took him another minute or two to get the wave of nausea under control. Putting more weight than normal on his cane, he slowly made his way to the bathroom. As soon as his eyes landed on the toilet it seemed to call out to him. Freddy barely made it in time to the bowl before he was spilling the little remains of his stomach again. He had always thought throwing up was the worst. But apparently not even knowing why you were puking was much worse. The last thing he remembered was finally talking Billy into going to that party.

Oh. Billy. Maybe he should talk to him about what happened. At least one of them had to know what happened. Right? Slowly peeling himself off the ground, Freddy rinsed his mouth out with water before brushing his teeth. Grabbing a few painkillers, he shoved them in his pocket and headed downstairs. The steps swirled in front of him so badly that it took him twice as long to make his way down. Not that Freddy could make out the conversation in the first place, but he heard the voices hush as he nearly tripped on the last step. Wandering into the kitchen, everyone stood around staring at him. Clearly Freddy had missed both breakfast and lunch.

“Oh look who finally got up.” Victor said in an all too loud voice, laughing when Freddy clutched at his throbbing head. “What am I too loud for you? I wonder why that is.”  
From the look Rosa and Victor were giving him, Freddy figured they both already knew, though he wasn’t sure why. What the hell had happened last night? Rosa pulled out a chair for Freddy to sit in before she started pulling out a pan and bowl. Freddy didn’t know what she was making, but he didn’t think he could eat anything at all without throwing up.

“So, want to tell us your side of the story?” Victor asked, sitting across from Freddy. He didn’t sound particularly mad, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t about to tear Freddy a new one.

“I don’t know.” It was the truth. Clearly he had too much to drink, but that’s as far as his knowledge went.

“You don’t know?” Victor shifted his body to look at Billy who was standing uncomfortably in the corner. Was that because he had already gotten yelled at? Or something else? Billy wouldn’t even look at Freddy. “How much did he have to drink?”

“A lot.” Was the only answer Billy gave, looking at the ground. A pang of hurt flashed through Freddy’s already achy body as Billy sat down at the far end of the table away from him, still not looking in his direction.

“A lot… Apparently!” Victor rubbed a hand over his face, then looked back at Freddy. “Well here’s what I know. Billy calls me at three in the morning, waking me up because you two need a ride. Now why do you need a ride? Because you threw up, passed out, and Billy couldn’t get you home.”

Oh. Freddy’s cheeks flushed. He didn’t remember any of that at all. Now because of him, both of them were in trouble. But the worst part was knowing he had thrown up in front of Billy. Hopefully not ON Billy, because if that was the case he was packing his bags today. Oh God, is that why Billy wouldn’t even look at him?

“Sorry.” Freddy wanted to curl up and die.

“Yeah well, I would prefer you guys call me whenever you’re in trouble. Plus I can’t get too mad at you for drinking. I was a teenager too once. But we’re all having a more in depth conversation about this after you eat. Trust me, the eggs will help.” Victor clapped him on the shoulder before wandering out of the room. Freddy tried not looking too visibly disappointed when Billy followed him. Rosa set a heaping plate of scrambled eggs in front of him before ruffling his hair and leaving the room, too.

The food was surprisingly easy to keep down. Plus with the pain pills, Freddy was feeling nearly functional. Rosa kept filling his glass with water, so he figured that must have something to do with it. The conversation with Victor wasn’t as bad as he had been expecting. Of course both of them were grounded for a month, which wasn’t terrible in the grand scheme of things. But mostly Victor told them about being safe. Always watch your drink, know your limits, getting clear cut consent is the most important thing during sex but it's thousand times more important when there’s alcohol involved so sex while drinking should generally be avoided, and a few other things that made Freddy visibly cringe. Shooting side glances at Billy every so often, Freddy didn’t like the vibe his best friend was giving off. Anxious, upset, and he still wouldn’t look at Freddy. By the time Victor finally left the room, Freddy was ready to pounce at Billy and ask him what the hell was wrong.

“So?” It was a question as much as it was a demand for answers. For the first time that day Billy looked at him. Freddy didn’t recognize the look in Billy’s eyes, but it was a little unsettling.

“You really don’t remember anything from last night?” Billy’s voice sounded so sad. Freddy started picking at the hem of his shirt out of anxiousness.

“No, but I don’t like the way you’ve been acting all day. Or the way you’re acting now. Please tell me I didn’t throw up on you. I’ll go kill myself right now, Billy, I swear.” It was enough to get a small chuckle out of Billy, which made him feel better. Slightly.

“No, I was out of the splash zone for that.” Billy let a hand rub at the back of his own neck as if contemplating his next words. “I don’t even know if I should say anything at all. I mean, you were really really drunk, Freddy.”

“Billy if you don’t tell me what I did in the next five seconds I’m going to take this cane and start swinging.” Freddy waved it threateningly at his side. Of course he wouldn’t hit Billy with it, and they both knew that. But it was the threat that counted. Was whatever the Hell he did that bad? All he could remember was a house, a bunch of people, and too much alcohol. “Was it gross? Is that why you won't tell me?”

“No. No. Maybe some people would think so? I don’t know Freddy, this isn’t really easy for me. I just wish you remembered.” Billy hid his face in his hands, making a frustrated noise.

“Well if you don’t think it was gross, then TELL ME. Please I’m literally going crazy over here.”

“Yeah, fine.” Billy looked at Freddy, then the floor, then closed his eyes. “You kissed me.”

For a split second Freddy was confused, then panic washed over him as Billy’s words sunk in.


	18. Chapter 18

That kiss had simultaneously been the best and scariest thing of Billy’s life. It was everything he wanted and more, even though he could tell it wasn’t that great. Neither of them were exactly practiced with kissing, resulting in a gross, slightly sloppy lip fest. But Billy was in Heaven. He had just managed to get his hands up and cupped around Freddy’s face when he felt hands pushing at him. Freddy violently shoved himself out of Billy’s gentle grip. For a split second Billy was hurt beyond words. Then he saw the look on Freddy’s face. It was one he hadn’t seen in a while, but knew it well enough to move out of the way fast. Billy didn’t look away in time to avoid the rotten colored vomit spewing from his best friends mouth. It seemed to go on for an eternity because Billy’s alcohol muddled brain was still trying to process what the hell had just happened.

Then Freddy fell over, thankfully not in his own vomit, and terror flooded through Billy’s body. He didn’t know what to do. Freddy was passed out but still breathing. No one was helping. Then suddenly he was on the phone with Victor, practically crying, begging for him to come get them. It never even crossed his mind that he would get in trouble. As long as Freddy was safe. Besides, he wasn’t sure he could drag a limp body home either way. Victor made sure both of them were fine before turning on the party. Thankfully he didn’t have to threaten to call the cops or anything, because as soon as everyone saw an actual adult they all started dispersing on their own out of fear.

Billy had never truly realized how strong Victor was until he watched him throw Freddy over his shoulder and carry him to the car, then again up the stairs to put him in bed. Victor reassured Billy countless times that Freddy didn’t need a hospital, but he was in for a hell of a time tomorrow. Still, Billy watched Freddy for the rest of the night and well into the morning to make sure he kept breathing. It was the first time since the day he arrived that Freddy didn’t toss and turn or even talk in his sleep. That was the most terrifying thing of all. Billy got in a quick nap once he was sure Freddy wasn’t going to randomly drop dead at any second, then went downstairs to get yelled at. Rosa seemed the most upset, though after she scolded him she still planted a kiss to his forehead.

Then there was Freddy, who stumbled out of bed at nearly three in the afternoon, looking like death. Freddy had always been pale by nature, but now he looked like a ghost. Food and water seemed to bring the color back to his lifeless face. A face that Billy was having a hard time looking at. He didn’t know what to say or do, or what this meant for them now. But he knew for a fact it was something they needed to talk about. Then Freddy was saying how he didn’t remember anything and Billy’s heart sank. He barely listened to anything Victor said, too busy thinking about what to do next. Should he ignore it or just play it off by blaming it on the alcohol. Ignoring it wasn’t an option when Freddy was so desperate for answers.

“You kissed me.” Billy could hardly get the words out of his throat. So much for playing it cool.

“I what?” Freddy looked absolutely terrified and it made Billy feel so awful for enjoying the kiss. “Oh man I’m so so so sorry about that Billy. Wow I think I actually might be sick again. Do you hate me now? Is that why you can’t even look at me?”

“I don’t hate you.” On the contrary, Billy had never loved Freddy more. Not that he could say that. “I’m just… I don’t know. Nevermind.”

“You don’t hate me but you can’t stand to look at me?” Freddy still looked visibly shaken as he started picking at the skin on his fingers. Billy had been friends with him long enough to know Freddy only did that when he was really stressed out. “Sure. Makes sense. Look, I’ll ask Rosa and Victor to switch me with Pedro and he can stay in here with you instead. I-”

“Freddy!” Billy cut him off, grabbing his hands, holding them tightly in his so Freddy would stop picking at them. They had already started to bleed a little. “Relax. I’m not kicking you out. I don’t hate you. I’m just a little embarrassed, ok? But you need to calm down because you’re freaking me out. It was just a kiss. It’s not the end of the world.”  
“Oh.” Billy watched as Freddy’s body practically deflated. They were so close, basically holding hands, and the only thing Billy could think about doing was kissing the sad look right off Freddy’s beautiful face. “Well clearly I’m not an awful kisser or else you’d be running for the hills.”

Billy knew it was a joke. Just a way for Freddy to lighten the tension between them. That’s what Freddy was best at. But Billy couldn’t help but let out a soft, “Yeah you were all right.”

His voice was low enough that even sitting so close to Freddy, the boy didn’t seem to hear his words clearly for a few seconds. When Freddy’s eyes widened in realization, Billy’s mind finally caught up with his mouth. Oh shit. Dropping Freddy’s hands and bouncing backwards on the bed to put a few more inches between them, he could feel the blush forming on his face. Fuck. That wasn’t something he could hide.

“Wait. So. Did you.. Did you like it?” Freddy put an emphasis on the word ‘like’ as if he couldn’t believe Billy actually enjoyed it. But did that mean Freddy wanted Billy to enjoy it? Or did that mean he was about to harass him relentlessly for liking it? Things would be a hell of a lot clearer if Billy could just grow the balls to tell Freddy how he really felt. But he was scared. Scared of ruining what they already had. Scared of losing Freddy.

“I didn't not like it. But I think the more important question is why did you do it in the first place?” Billy would trade his soul to whoever wanted it if Freddy gave him some sort of cheesy love confession right then and there. But he was a realist and wasn’t expecting that to happen.

“Can I blame it on the alcohol?” Now it was Freddy’s turn to look away. That was interesting. Billy’s heart was already hammering in his chest for having such a risky conversation. But since Freddy wasn’t yelling at him or running away in terror yet, he figured he’d push it a little farther.

“If that’s really what it was, then yeah.” He could practically see the tension rolling off Freddy in waves.

“Ok well maybe I wanted to, alright. Maybe I’ve wanted to since your stupid ass first walked through that bedroom door.”

Billy’s mind was going into overdrive. Freddy had kissed him on purpose. Because he wanted to. Because he’s wanted to forever. A tingly feeling spread slowly through his entire body. Billy didn’t even care that his hand was shaking as he reached out for Freddy. Hesitantly he pressed his lips against a very surprised, soft Freddy. It may not be their first kiss, but it would be the first one Freddy remembered. And Billy was determined to make it the best kiss he ever had.


End file.
